Gaper Mario

Some people like jacking off while watching HD videos of teenagers getting their cherries popped or lesbians squirting all over each other’s faces. Others prefer to stroke themselves to completion while playing Nintendo games, secretly wishing many of the characters had been gender-swapped, and you could lick their buttholes. That’s typically the kind of joke I make on this site, with some kind of neckbeard punchline thrown in, but in this case, it’s just the truth. Gaper Mario is a hentai game where you get to do butt-stuff with different Super Mario characters who have grown unexpected sexual organs.

The stuff is good fodder for a laugh, but it’s also good masturbatory fodder for a lot of people. It wouldn’t be so popular if it was just a freakshow for the 4chan kids. Gaper Mario might be a quintessential example of the gender-swapped Mario hentai game, distilled to a really basic essence. There ain’t much to this game, but maybe that makes it easier to crank it to.

Like Paper Mario, but with Gaping

I was never a huge fan of the Paper Mario games. Maybe it was just the departure from the usual platformer formula, but they just never did it for me. I did laugh when I saw the title for Gaper Mario. That’s some top-tier juvenile shit right there, the kind of thing you see scratched into a restroom stall, and everyone wonders why you’re laughing so hard while taking a shit.

It’s almost like somebody took a clever name and ran with it. Shit, people would play Gaper Mario for a minute, even if it was a garbage game that somebody slapped together with minimal effort. This looks good, though, right from the jump; somebody clearly cares about these characters, and seeing them anally violated.

There’s a SNES-looking selection screen at the game’s start, but only one option. Goombella is a goomba with lady parts, as you may have guessed from the name. I clicked her, and suddenly she was showing me her butthole and twat, telling me to slide down her pipe.

It’s not an interactive scene. She jiggles her ass in an animated loop and says dirty shit like, “Stomp my ass!” I clicked through the dialog and listened to music that really could have come from a Mario game.

After she was done saying stuff, it was time to fuck. This was another short animation, with lots of fluids flying around and squishy, squelchy noises. My character doesn’t have a face as far as I can tell from the angle, but he does have a big dick.

I clicked around, looking for something to interact with, but nah, it’s just a loop. Eventually, I clicked the Menu button in the corner, which brought me back to the menu. Now, I could choose from either Goombella or a purple bitch named Vivian.

Obscure Characters as Violated Futanari

The Mario nerds are going to see Vivian and think, “Holy shit! It’s not just a clever name!” Yeah, the developer really was inspired by one of the worst Mario games out there. He’s made Vivian a futanari, though, with her nutsack peeking out of panties as she jiggles her ass in the first hentai loop.

The formula is pretty simple here. You click a character, which brings up a short, animated loop. She says sexy stuff, you click through, and she says more sexy stuff. When she’s said enough sexy stuff, there’s another animation, this time with fucking. When you’re done fapping or whatever, you click the Menu button to go back and see which new character you’ve unlocked.

At least I found an interactive thing this time. I click that swinging scrotum, and it pops out of the panties, also revealing a puckered purple butthole. “This isn’t exit only,” she tells me. The next thing I know, she’s bouncing her butthole on my cock. I think it counts as interracial, White-on-Purple.

I can’t interact with Vivian during the sex loop, nor can I click anything when the ghost is grinding her sticky pussy and pooper on my boner in the next scene. Gaper Mario is barely a game, but more of an excuse to string some Super Mario hentai animations together. That probably makes it easier to whack off to, if futanari koopa troopas make you all hard and drippy.

Minimal Interactivity, Dirty Hentai

I was clicking all over the place, looking for shit to interact with. I can’t tell you how excited I was when I figured out you could finger a koopa troopa’s butthole in the next scene. A white-gloved hand appears, poking in and out of the troopa’s rectum as you click.

It was so thrilling to find a game-like element that I didn’t even realize the koopa troopa was a dude. I just assumed it was a chick or a futa until I got to the next scene, with a more obviously feminine koopa troopa asking me to lick her gaping asshole. I had to go back, and while I’m not 100%, I’m pretty sure that’s a dude. The third koopa has huge titties, so it’s way easier to tell.

After stomping all the koopa troopas, there’s a futanari Yoshi who wants your cock. If you click her balls, she changes color. She talks dirty; you click a few times, and then comes the second animated loop. You know the drill by now.

Ms. Mowz is a pervy bitch who wants you to look at her butthole as soon as you meet. You can click on her butthole, but it actually doesn’t do any butt stuff. Instead, it changes her red platform heels into red stripper boots and back again. You never know what a click is going to do. It will probably do nothing, but it might swap someone’s dick for a cunt, change their skin color, or let you stick a couple of fingers in their bum.

Sometimes it feels like there’s no rhyme or reason to how things work in Gaper Mario. I guess you don’t really need reasons if you’re just trying to masturbate to gender-swapped Mario cartoons. The animations are simple but sexy enough, with the right sense of curves and proportions to make the lizard part of your brain get all excited even while your modern human brain fills with a deep, burning sense of shame.

Come On, You Handsome Piece of Cheese

When I unlocked Petuni and then Punio, I was sure I was about to get to the game portion of Gaper Mario. The bug-like creatures present their genitals, swappable with a click, and the animation shows them being aggressively fingered by that white-gloved hand from earlier. A scoreboard or counter in the bottom corner said I had zero out of 101.

No matter what I did, I couldn’t raise that score. While I spent much of the time thinking Gaper Mario wasn’t much of a game, it usually seemed that way be design. In this case, the broken score seemed like something the developer started and just didn’t finish.

If you’ve made it that far in the game, it’s probably not going to bother you all that much on account of all the times; you’d have ejaculated by now. Really, I can’t see anybody getting that far unless this is the stuff that gets them off.

My biggest complaint about Gaper Mario is that it’s barely a game. You don’t really have to do anything. You’ll unlock characters one at a time, but there’s no skill required, and you don’t need to have luck on your side. All you have to do is click through the dialog in the first animation, and then you get to watch the second animation and unlock the next character.

Porn games come in every style imaginable, and I often wonder how easy it is to flog the bishop to the really complex, complicated ones that require a lot of brainpower and choreographed clicking. There’s nothing like that in Gaper Mario. It’s a game in a really basic sense, but overall, the “game” is just the vehicle for a handful of original Super Mario hentai animations. And that’s just fine.

There’s not much to Gaper Mario, just some dirty little animated loops and a really vague story to tie them together. Those of you looking for a spectacle will find it, as will anyone legitimately looking for some gender-swapped Mario hentai to help you squirt semen into an old sock. The animations are simple but sexy, and you don’t have to do much to unlock them.