Camp Pinewood

Have you ever watched an animated TV show made for kids and thought to yourself: Damn, I’d like to date and fuck every single hot bitch in this show, but only if she was confirmed 18 or older? Well, I have great news for you. From the mind of indie developer VaultMan and with the support of his thousands of Patreon backers comes Camp Pinewood – a dating sim that features all of your favorite female characters from a shit ton of different children’s cartoons. They’re all at least 18 years old, though, just saying. It is very important to note this little legally exculpatory fact. They’re definitely all adult characters, and also it’s very likely that any resemblance to existing characters, real or fictional, is entirely coincidental. With that out of the way, let’s dive headfirst into this amazing game.

Drawing Inspiration from the Masters

We’ve seen a lot of similar dating games that have a sort of overlap with visual novel styles, and they’ve pretty much set the stage for this kind of video gaming. I’d like to think that it all started with Akabur’s Witch Trainer. He pretty much pioneered the idea of a dating game in which you’re pretty much stuck within one scene with one character, but there’s a ton of satisfying content regardless.

Akabur liked focusing on the important parts of porn game writing – the satisfaction and the challenge of the chase. Instead of having you do mundane tasks and wasting his own time with drawing useless backdrops, he focused all of his time and energy on the tits and the smut. That’s exactly the kind of quality design that gets the players hard and brings in the big bucks.

I see a lot of Akabur’s original genius in this game’s successes, even though it doesn’t resemble Witch Trainer in any technically relevant way. There are tiny things here and there that show me that the original wisdom of that game isn’t lost on Camp Pinewood. For instance, there are no tons of dialogue with deep storylines or any such bullshit. It’s a dating sim made for people who like to jack off and have fun. You’re not here to learn deep spiritual secrets about the universe. You’re here to have fun, and you shouldn’t be kept from it. I very much appreciate video games that don’t try to waste my time or fuck with my erection.

Awesome Art Style

It’s interesting to note that this game tries to portray over a dozen chicks from different cartoons with different styles, but within one style that they settled on for this game. How they managed to bring together all those characters while also making them easily recognizable is beyond me, but they succeeded. I guess that’s what happens when you have really talented artists being paid by over two thousand people.

The art style itself is pretty simple, but I love it. It’s this really plain 2D colored cartoon style that’s a sort of middle between the various cartoons, making it easy to draw a lot of scenes that bring all these girls together. The backdrops look custom made too, and they can be a bit overly simplistic, but it’s enough for a porn dating game. I’d rather have all the quality art focused on the tits instead of the backdrops anyway. Besides, you get over a dozen chicks with this game. There’s hardly anything to complain about.

I guess the best part of the art style is the consistency. Between the characters and the backdrops, everything meshes well together, and I couldn’t find a single cut corner. It really does feel like you’re watching a Saturday morning cartoon, but with a ton of adult undertones.

The Story

VaultMan himself has noted that this game doesn’t come with a deep story of any kind. It’s not about taking you on a journey. It’s more of a mix between Pokemon and Tamagotchi, with a bit of talking in between. The idea is that the only reason for the camp existing is so that you have an opportunity to meet the girls within. That’s the full extent of the story.

This pretty much means that none of your time gets wasted, which is why I mentioned Akabur as an obvious inspiration. Much like in Witch Trainer, you only really spend any time playing this game in order to get deeper into a girl’s panties, and that’s the way I like my stories. It reminds me of what my actual life is like. I don’t need to know your preferences; I need you to start taking items of clothing off.

The Smut Scenes

The game is still in its early stages, which is very impressive when you consider the number of backers, to be honest. They make a point of pointing out that the game is in alpha, and the most noticeable consequence of this early stage of development is that the game’s smut scenes are static. There’s no animation. They have explained, though, that the finished version of the game will include fully animated sex scenes.

From what I’ve seen so far, I’m confident that this game’s very hot and will only get hotter. The art style is perfectly polished, and if you’re into static sex scenes, you’ll be delighted with what they have so far. If the final product is basically more of the same, but in motion, it’s going to look absolutely amazing. And, if they decide to take it in another direction and smutify these characters even further, hell, I’m not going to complain. I trust these guys.

They’ve been very active on their Patreon, and they’re regularly posting updates and progress reports, so I’m sure that the game’s only going to get better from here on out.

The Girls

I have to have a section where I cover the girls included in this game, because I genuinely can’t decide which one is the most fuckable and I’d like you guys to try and figure it out on your own. Naturally, you’re gonna have some preferences, and I doubt there even is an answer to the question. I guess the best part of playing this game is going to be figuring out which girl you like the most.

So, here we go. You’ve got Jessica, from The Simpsons. Gwen, from Total Drama Island. Velma, from Scooby Doo, but interestingly enough, not Daphne. I have to say; I’m a real fan of this decision. Fuck Daphne. She’s a thot. Velma is where it’s at. I always knew she was a sex freak underneath that sweater. Then you’ve got Francine from American dad, Madeline from Danny Phantom, Frankie, from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. Before I continue, I have to note that I’ve had a thing for Frankie since Zone-Tan did a sex parody of her getting fucked by Bloo. It was equal parts hilarious and fap-worthy. I never saw Frankie in a sexy light before, but Zone really opened my eyes. I’m looking forward to seeing this version of Frankie take a dicking.

Further down the line, you’ve got Roberta from the Cleveland Show, Clover from Totally Spies, Raven from Teen Titans, who is also very famous from Zone’s parodies. In fact, Zone was the first grand porn wizard to profit on the sex factor of Teen Titans. At this point, I’d be surprised if this game didn’t feature her. She’s an absolute fuck doll.

Next on the fucking block, there’s Gwen from Ben 10, who’s gotten more porn parodies made of her than probably any other cartoon chick since Marge Simpson. You’ve got not one but two fuckable bitches from the Kim Possible show, namely Kim and Ann. Finally, there’s Wendy from Gravity Falls and Jenny the Teenage Robot.

The game will also feature three additional girls as per patron requests, and there’s also an original character called Melinda, who was handcrafted for the game. I’m probably looking forward to her the most, because I have no idea what to expect. Is she kinky or prudish? Does she take it up the ass, and how frequently? I won’t know until I’ve had a chance to explore her further.

The Future

VaultMan says that the game will feature anal sex, lesbianism, voyeurism, group sex, BDSM, and many other sextastic features. I don’t know what he’s got in mind, but I’m looking forward to every single update that this game is going to receive.

This is the kind of free porn game that makes me proud to be a porn game reviewer. Real quality always comes from the indie developers who aren’t bound by corporate bullshit. They can just make the games that they find sexy and share them with the world. Them getting paid in the process is just icing on the cake. They don’t have to listen to anyone micro-managing their work. They can just follow their creative spirit. And I can just download this game for free and jack off until I’m blue in the face. You should probably follow my example and jack off to Camp Pinewood too.