It’s time for Overwatch pussy! I haven’t seen nearly enough Overwatch porn parodies in gaming, and that is a travesty. Sure, they’re the main go-to when it comes to rule 34 SFM videos, but for some reason, people avoid making interactive smut featuring the characters from this game. I’m playing dumb; I know the main reason behind this is that Blizzard would lynch anyone who’d try to turn a profit on their designs, especially if we’re talking about porn. I understand that this is the world that we live in. Blizzard officially owns D.Va’s pussy, and I just have to make my peace with it.
But, a developer doesn’t have to turn a profit in order to make smut games. I don’t fault them for wanting to make some bread, but when they’re dealing with porn parodies of existing franchises, you take what you can get. That’s why we have to be extra grateful to developer Young & Naughty for their amazing work on Academy 34. This ain’t a Source Filmmaker excuse for an interactive experience. It’s an actual game, made from the ground up. All the characters might be tributes, but they were painstakingly drawn in an original style that’s similar enough to Overwatch to be recognizable, but different enough to bring something new to the table.
Turning Back Time
I haven’t played a lot of Overwatch, but from what I know about the story, the eponymous organization used to be some sort of international task force. They were the super-powered good guys that got sent in to handle problems that no army or police force could handle. They were real superheroes; until one day they were literally outlawed. Yes, this concept is pretty old. I first saw this concept in the original Watchmen comic, but it works really well and makes for an intriguing setup.
Well, this game rolls the clock way back, to a time before the original Overwatch squad was even a thing. They also did some temporal mixing and matching. I’m not quite sure, but I think that D.Va, Mei, and the other younger members of the new Overwatch were basically children during this time. They weren’t superheroes at this point, that’s for sure. The developers had to sort of combine young versions of old champions like Ana with the current iterations of champs like D.Va, to make sure that, well, all of them are sexy and bang-worthy.
Back to School
So the setup is that you’re in school, or, in an academy, to be more precise. This is where all the superheroes go before they get official recognition and assignment. They attend classes and train their combat prowess so that they’re ready for the battlefield. I guess you can compare this institution to the special school that mutants go to in the Marvel universe. It’s a porn parody, so you can expect to see a lot of references to other media. I personally don’t mind at all. I mean, they needed a way to bring all the Overwatch characters under one roof, and this makes more sense than having them bang on the battlefield.
You play as a random male nobody, again, because this is a porn game. If they let you role-play as Solider 76 or something, the game would suck. It’s better to be an up and coming loser and get in D.Va’s pants that way. It makes you feel like you really earned it. Plus, it’s easier to relate to a self-insert protagonist who has no real memorable characteristics. So, you’re new to the academy, you’re here to learn, but along the way, you keep getting stuck in high-quality pussy. You can’t be blamed. The Overwatch chicks are just that hot.
Getting Shit Done
If you’ve ever played Summertime Saga, you’ll feel right at home with the gameplay of Academy 34. You’ve got an open world that is constantly passing you by, but there’s no real pressure on your tasks. Nothing is really time-sensitive; you just have to be in a certain place at a certain time in order to progress branching stories. The various characters across the academy are always willing to give you something to do, and you can bet your ass that there’s going to be a smut payoff, no matter what you do.
I like the idea of being given parallel stories that don’t overlap much or affect one another. It pretty much lets you pursue any chick you want in any order. All the characters are very much a part of the various stories, but they’re mixed and matched. So, you’re constantly playing around the recognizable girls from Overwatch, but without having to keep track of what you’ve done so far and what you need to do next.
You also get a handy menu that lists out all of your tasks, one by one, scratching off the shit you’ve already done so that you don’t forget where you’re at. Progress is gradual, so like I mentioned before, you don’t have to get stuck on one storyline if you’re bored of it for now. You can crank out as many tasks as you want in any order you feel like. Plus, if you’ve already unlocked certain fap-worthy content, you can just keep going back to it. If you want to jack your dick clean off, you are by all means free to do so. It’s basically the exact same formula you get in Summertime Saga.
X-Ray Vision in an Open World
One feature you absolutely do not get in Summertime Saga is the ability to see chicks naked before you’ve romanced them fully. In that game, you have to bend over backwards for a bitch before she agrees to so much as give you some sideboob. In this game, you get X-Ray vision for some fucking reason, and it just adds to the amusement. I’m guessing they drew every character from every angle, several times over, so that you could remove layers of clothing at will.
You don’t have to see them naked all the way; you can build your way up. Your X-Ray vision has levels, so you can increase its potency in order to see a chick’s underwear before you decide to see what’s underneath. It’s just a nice and fun way to tease yourself. But, if you want to see some actual hardcore action with any of these girls, you’ll have to earn it. The Overwatch babes are high-class pussy; you have to convince them that you’re worthy of bending them over.
Earning Your Right to Fuck D.Va
I know I’ve been droning on about D.Va, but my God, have you seen a hotter video game character? I sure as shit haven’t. The chick’s perfect in every way. Anyways, she, along with the rest of the cast, are not particularly difficult to bend over, you just have to be a bit patient. The game doesn’t come with a lot of story, per se. I mean, shit happens, and characters really seem to care about their various predicaments, but for the most part, you’re just pushing forward to the sex at light speed. There are no deep narratives here, just a whole lot of fun.
I found this part of the gameplay to be very entertaining. I managed to get through a serious chunk of the tasks with one hand down my pants in around 30 minutes of nonstop jacking. This is definitely one of those games that goes way out of its way not to waste your time. I also really like the fact that there’s a lot of dialogue, but it’s all very brief. None of these babes go on fucking monologues about their feelings. They have you solving actual problems, not asking you questions about where the relationship is going.
I mentioned that it would be impossible for a developer to sell a game that’s based on someone else’s intellectual property, and that’s just one of the many reasons why Academy 34 is completely free. The developer has a Patreon that they’re using as a cookie jar, and it seems to be working out for them. They’re making more than enough money to stay afloat, and they’re regularly posting updates.
Sometimes they’ll even stream their work live, so that you can see them draw the pussy in real-time. So far, the game’s had almost a dozen updates, and with every new version, you get a ton of content. Normally, I’m very impatient when it comes to waiting for a final version for a porn game. But, this game doesn’t have a linear storyline that needs to end. You just get more smut with every update, so I have nothing to complain about. Get it, try it, jack off, and don’t forget to fuck D.Va.