The Villain Simulator

I should warn you; you’re in for a very long review of a very short and simple game. Villain Simulator is the kind of game everyone should have on their computer, because it’s polished and it’s fun. Remember fun? Remember a time before porn developers were trying to milk you for all your worth on the promise of infinite pussy? Well, the guy who made The Villain Simulator sure remembers this time when things were simpler. This game right here is filled with a few minutes of quality entertainment, and it’s expertly crafted. It runs like butter on standard gaming computers, it looks awesome no matter what kind of screen you’re using, and it’s actually optimized for VR.

I tried this game out for this review, and before I hopped into VR, I played it on my computer. Now, I’m rocking a 144hz display, so you can imagine my surprise when I was thrust into a small, but comfortable room and saw Catwoman, right in front of me, with her legs split apart, chained to a sci-fi torture table. I was beside myself. In 144fps, this action looked magical. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Anyways, I knew I wanted to dive right in, so I put on my Oculus, switched to VR mode, and dove right in.

Lots to Do

When you’ve got one of the world’s most beloved heroines strapped to a torture throne, with her limbs spread far apart, there’s so much you can do to pass the time. It’s clear she isn’t going anywhere, so you might as well enjoy yourself. This game gives you ample opportunity to do just that. There are all kinds of toys and tools lying around that you can use to have a grand old time.

You can pick up a tazer and, well, taze her while you watch her scream in agony, which is surprisingly hot. I’m not one for pain play, especially not in real life, but in the context of Villain Simulator, it’s pretty damn entertaining. There’s also a whip that you can use to punish your girl, and she makes a different kind of painful scream. They seem to have recorded different kinds of screams, depending on the type of punishment. This was a nice touch. I don’t understand why the whip makes the girls bleed as if they’ve been shot by a bullet, but it doesn’t leave a mark, but hey, I’m not judging. Villain Simulator is fucking brilliant.

A Bunch of Guns

I get that this is supposed to be an evil villain’s torture chamber, but the guns are kind of weird. I don’t just mean it’s weird that there are guns, I mean the guns themselves make no sense. Let’s go through them one by one; you’ll see what I mean. First up, we’ve got the laser pistol. This bad boy is so powerful that if you overuse it past its limit, it will explode in your hand and kill you. That makes perfect sense, right? But, if you use it just the right amount and target the girls’ clothing, you can shoot it right off, layer by layer. That’s how you get nudity in Villain Simulator.

But, be careful. If you accidentally miss and shoot her skin, you’ll end up destroying her. She’ll straight up evaporate in a fiery blaze. Then, you’ll have to fetch a new girl, but now your gun will have fewer charges, and you might not be able to strip her fully. Take your time; aim your shots. If you right-click, you can give the gun a laser sight making it easier to aim the damn thing.

The next gun on the list is sort of BB gun, pellet shooter toy that shoots white plastic or rubber balls, I’m not sure. These do absolutely nothing, and there’s a bunch of ammo. So, if you’d like to pointlessly shoot a bunch of these at your hostage, well, you can. Nothing of note will happen. I tried the obvious, shooting the pellets into the chick’s vagina and mouth. It did not work. It would be kind of cool if I could stuff her full of pellets, but no such luck.

If you didn’t find that gun hilarious enough, there’s also a nerf gun. Yup, it actually fires nerfs that stick to any surface they impact. So, you can shoot your girl in the head and make her a unicorn. If you’re particularly good with your aim, you might be able to land one of these bad boys right on her clit and make her look ridiculous. I don’t know why I tried this, but it was hilarious, and I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Next up, there’s the stun gun, which I mentioned. It’s more of a tazer, but you get what I mean. It lets you electrocute the girl as much as you’d like. I don’t think this thing runs out of charge. You can just keep zapping away and watching her squirm. She can’t shake herself loose, so you can zap her to your heart’s content.

Extremely Sexy Chicks

There are several girls in this game, but as far as I know, Villain Simulator is still in development. They’ve been adding girls since 2017, but right now, they’re sitting pretty at four distinct bitches. You’ve got Catwoman, a furry looking chick with wolf feet, Tifa Lockhart of Final Fantasy fame, and a bunch of other girls that are apparently not yet available. As far as I can tell, they are slowly being produced and introduced in patches.

It's no wonder that it’s taking them so long to make a new chick for this game, because there are clearly no reused assets here. These girls were hand-crafted by the porn gods themselves. They’re so curvaceous and perfect in every single way. I’d fuck them until my dick falls off, if I could. But alas, VR isn’t quite there yet. But, I can attach nerfs on their nipples, so there’s that.

I really like the way they made them follow you around with their eyes. Combine that with the fact that they’re really curvy, and their skin looks realistic enough, and you’ve got yourself a perfect recipe for some quality faps. It’s kind of hard to fap to this game when you’re in VR since you have to move around and shit. But, I guess you could play it sitting down and combine the keyboard. That would kind of ruin the immersion, though. The whole joy of Villain Simulator is being able to see these tits and asses up close.

Punishment is Fun, Apparently

I didn’t know how much fun I could have punishing a virtual chick for no reason at all. Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t get hard over the idea of hurting a woman. This game just makes it seem to fucking silly. It’s less arousing and more hilarious, but the boner went up just the same. Shocking the girls with the tazer never gets old. It’s great fodder for some adult humor.

My childish side got the best of me after the first few minutes, more specifically, when I discovered the nerf gun. I tried to put a single nerf on each of Catwoman’s nipples, plus her clit, the middle of her head, her eyes, and, well, by the end of it, she was a nerf porcupine. That shit was hilarious. Then, I hit her with the tazer, and she shook up in pain, but it was impossible not to laugh because she was also covered in nerf darts. This game lets you have a lot of fun; I’ll say that much.

Future Updates

We already know that the future holds more bitches. They’ve made it obvious that they’re going to be adding more girls to this game. I am very confused about the tools and weapons, though. This is supposed to be a simulator, and the engine is amazing, sure. The game is flawless. But, they keep adding girls with the exact same gameplay. You can undress the girls, and you can zap them. Then what?

They should probably consider adding more tools so you can do some weirder shit. Hell, just being able to move the girls around a bit would be really fun. They could add a dildo or some cum mechanics, who knows. We could make some hot sex scenes in this bad boy. They could also add BDSM shit like nipple clamps, spikes, milkers, and the like. It’s not really my scene, but I’ve seen enough videos of BDSM shit to know where they could take this game. It’s all virtual; the girl isn’t real. So, they could get really wild with it. I don’t see why not. This game has a ton of potential, and I’m really looking forward to future updates.