Heroine Rumble

It seems that these days every single porn game that I review is either a furry RPG or a freemium FarmVille clone. I almost completely gave up hope of ever seeing a proper shooter or action game that has actual fap-worthy scenes. That is until Heroine Rumble came in to save the fighting genre, of all things. Now, this ain’t your run of the mill Mugen release with a bunch of naked sprites. It’s a full-fledged 3D fighting game made in a proper game engine. And if that’s not enough for you, it runs entirely in your browser and loads really fucking quickly for a 3D title. I mean, I know we’re living in the future, but damn, this is impressive. So, let’s dig into all the wonderful novelties that Heroine Rumble brings to the smut scene.

Beat into Submission

Just as a disclaimer: If you take anything that you see in this game as inspiration on how to pick up chicks in real life, you’ll be in prison faster than your erection dies down. This is a game all about punching women in the face until they’re ready to fuck and hopefully undressing them in the process. But, it’s all fair game since it’s girl on girl and all the action takes place inside a wrestling ring, so everyone is pretty much on board with the consequences.

In fact, none of this action is actually forced penetration or anything of the sort. It’s more like an imaginary sport where sex and wrestling come together in a way that makes absolutely no sense and has you scratching your head as you try to figure out why you’re so ridiculously hard right now. I played this game for an hour or so, and I was hard throughout. I wasn’t too sure at what point to jack off, though, because quite honestly, I got so excited by the fighting that I kind of wanted to become the best lady wrestler of all time. The porn came very secondarily to the fighting action.

But you get the gist of it. You walk into a ring and face off against an opponent of similarly impressive cup size and wallop her until her shirt comes flying off. When she stumbles and falls, you grab onto one of her arms or legs and kick her in the crotch until she’s wet. I haven’t tried this in real life, because I’m not mentally deranged, but I’m 99% sure that kicking someone in their private parts wouldn’t really bring the pussy juices flowing. It does in this game, though. Kick a girl in the pussy enough times, and hearts start appearing around her head to indicate that she is finding you damn irresistible. By the time you’ve also kicked her clothing clean off, she’s so infatuated with you that she needs you to bend her over backwards and give her a dicking right then and there — what a world.

Futas and Putas

At this point, you might be very confused, as I mentioned that this game exclusively features women. But I mentioned a bend over, and I definitely mentioned dick. Well, this game has a completely optional and very much recommended futa mode, which gives the girls dicks. Plain and simple. Now, why would I recommend that you take the second-best hole on a woman and replace it with a penis? Well, so that you can fuck other girls in the first best hole they’ve got.

Now you don’t have to enable futa mode, the game is hot enough as it is, but I mean, what’s a bit of lesbian fun without some penetration. I haven’t checked, but I don’t think that you can use toys as a replacement. I think that if you stay within no-dick mode, you can’t penetrate your opponent, and that’s kind of sad. I mean, if you’re going to punch her so hard that she’s horny for your cock, then you might as well provide, am I right? Again, disclaimer: Do not punch women for the hopes of sex. Do not hit women in general. Hell, don’t punch anyone. Stick to Heroine Rumble and preferably, don’t describe this game to anyone who isn’t an absolute pervert, because it’s going to make any social interaction very fucking awkward.

The Graphics and Animations

I have mixed feelings about this game’s entire art style and coding in general, because I’m not sure how to approach it. On the one hand, it’s a browser game that’s entirely 3D, so really any animations are a treat, since they’re pushing the limits of what you can experience in a browser without a hefty download. On the other hand, if you consider this as a proper 3D video game, then the graphics can grind on you real fierce.

I mean, they’re pretty enough. The chicks are hot. The art is serviceable. The problem is that once they start moving, you start to get seriously confused, and so does your dick. You’re aroused, but you’re also very curious about how the human body manages to stretch in those particular angles. Oh sure, the punches look fine, but try a kick. Go ahead. Fire up Heroine Rumble and kick an opponent. You will visibly recoil from the second-hand pain when you see your girl’s leg spiral 180 degrees outside of its joint and shoot forwards like a bullet, only to come right back and be perfectly fine in the end.

Some of these animations are so uncomfortable to look at that it’s better to pretend that these aren’t actual girls, but animated Barbie dolls. Forget getting punched in the face. That’s not the real danger. Kicking straight forward into nothing is the threat here. I’m surprised your leg doesn’t come flying off all-together.

Customization and RPG Elements

This is probably where the game shines the best. Before you unlock Exhibition and Adventure mode, you have to play a bit of the story mode first, and the story is … well, it’s immersive enough for a porn game, and I didn’t have any issue with it. It gets you riled up for the action, and it teaches you how to play the game slowly, without dumping too many instructions at you.

I give huge props to the developers for actually stuffing this game full of unique moves and combos that you can customize by picking them out of a list. You essentially get to make your own character the way you want to. You unlock new moves, and you choose your favorites. You’re essentially just remapping your keys if you think about it, but you can only have a certain amount of moves at a time, and once combat starts, that’s your entire arsenal.

Plus, while you’re in career mode, you also get to level up your character and alter your stats, which invariably makes you a better fighter. That tiny bit of customization goes a very long way towards making this potentially five-minute game into a five-hour game, given you like punching naked women. Again, as a disclaimer, please don’t punch anyone, female or otherwise. Okay, great, thanks.

Bonus Features

The developer has noted these features on the game’s page, and they’re all great. The game apparently has over 50 unique positions, which are used for both combat and sexy times. The story mode comes with character progression, which I mentioned. There are destructible and customizable outfits, which just adds to the RPG goodness. And, you can play around with the difficulty and set up your own custom matches in teams of up to 4 on 4.

Plus, the game is completely configurable, which I really appreciate. Most games of this caliber don’t really let you change anything but the main volume. In this game, you can flat out choose all the graphics options you’d like and even render it at extremely high resolutions. So, even as a browser game, it feels like a proper PC title.

This is the kind of game you can keep coming back to for a fun romp around a ring with some hot ass babes. It’s free to play, you can support the developers on Patreon, but you don’t have to if you can’t afford it. There’s literally nothing about this game that should dissuade you from playing it, except the possibility that you might not like fighting games in general.

It’s also really important to note that the developer already has a second game out, one that doesn’t have any fighting, but comes with a lot more role-playing. You should check that out too if you find yourself liking their style.