Wait, is that a fucking zombie? Ahh! Get inside now! Oh, wait, that's not a fucking zombie? It's just some thirsty bitch that's eager to get fucked? Ok then, false alarm people… Holy fucking shit, I've reviewed so many porn games already, and I'm still amazed by how many more titles I still encounter from time to time. However, I can't say that the list will stop anytime soon, I mean, porn has been around since the 18th century, the contents, in general, are quite repetitive, but come on, who doesn't love to watch people fucking each other?
Anyway, with that being said, sit back and relax as I welcome you to Camp Zomi! A resort which is both beautiful and exotic located in the middle of the Zomi Woods, a place that's known throughout the world as a place full of breath-taking sights and also rich in history. But, whenever something would seem ridiculously perfect, there's always something bad bound to happen. Anyway, to now more about Zombie's Retreat, or if you're only here to find out if this title is worth wasting time to, then stay on your fucking seat and let me review the living shit out of this game.
A Little Introduction Wouldn't Hurt
Stop complaining, you little shit, I'm still warming your sloppy little dicks for the good stuff that's about to come. However, a little intro about this porn game wouldn't hurt anybody, would it? Ok, good. Anyway, moving on, Zombie's Retreat Is a role-playing game where it involves a young man trying to enjoy his time in a summer camping retreat. However, that summer is something that man would never, ever, in a million fucking years, would forget.
What was initially intended to be a summer vacation full of bonding experiences, it ended up being something taken from a fucking movie. If you haven't guessed by now, it's fucking zombies. I mean, really? Haven't you guessed the main plot of the game from the fucking title itself? Holy fucking shit, dude! Anyway, with very unusual circumstances, it's up to you to save the rest of the survivors in an attempt to escape this shitty situation in one piece.
The Gameplay Of Zombie's Retreat
Have you ever played the first few generations of the Pokemon series? Well, of course, you do, you little prick. That game was one the reasons why most people had a terrific childhood, and if you haven't played it yet, then holy shit, you've been missing a lot. Anyway, the gameplay of Zombie's Retreat is similar to that game, minus the grinding and the list of more than a hundred different creatures.
As you start the game, you're then greeted with a few options; which are the option to start a new game, continue from your last progress, the options, or the link to the game's Patreon page where you get to donate to the creators of Zombie's Retreat to fucking motivate them to improve the game even more. The game has a handful of content that can get you busy for hours on end; you get to solve puzzles, slay zombies, and most of all, "protect" the survivors.
The Game's Graphics
Like I said earlier, if you have been paying any attention at all, you shitty little asshole, Zombie's Retreat has gameplay mechanics similar to the world-famous Pokemon game. Therefore, all I can say is that the graphics are quite good despite being a game in that particular genre. However, the artwork is really amazing; it's like the creators of the game spent the majority of their time perfecting all of the character's artwork.
Yeah, I know, the scenes where some really big-titted lady shows up aren't animated, but who am I to judge? I'm just as perverted as you, after all, boobs are boobs. Anyway, in regards to the artwork of the lewd scenes, I would definitely give it two thumbs up as it got my fucking dick up and running hard. Moreover, aside from these things, I can't say anymore regarding the game's graphics as it's already good as it is.
The Music Selection
The quality of the music that the developers selected is a little bit on the low side, but I can't seem to bring myself into hating the fuck out of it. For some odd fucking reason, I actually kind of enjoyed it as it would almost seem like it's one of the main reasons why I got hooked with the game. The background, oh man, the fucking background music is on point! My memory has became blurred on when was the last time I got this fucking excited over a fucking soundtrack. Therefore, in the music elements of the game, I would give two fucking thumbs up.
What I Like About Zombie’s Retreat
Boobs! Fucking boobs! That alone, I'm already hooked into this game. I mean, just imagine, as you start the game, you're already face-planted into the massive boobs of one of the survivors. Not only that, you get the chance to actually fuck them. Wait, is the main character even trying to save the rest of the survivors?
Anyway, to add to the already beautiful list of things that I like in the game is the women and their fetishes. From one girl to another, your character gets the chance to fuck them in his heart's content. However, of course, the game doesn't leave you hanging as you get to witness some of the lewd fuckings that occur. From gloryholes to suddenly fucking when taking a bath, the game doesn't leave out all of the possible things that might occur during an apocalypse.
Solve unexpectedly challenging puzzles, kill some retarded zombies that barely attack you, and fuck some bitchy and slutty survivors, what's not to fucking love about this game. If some idiots say that it's stupid. I dare you to fucking play it and then say it into my face that Zombie's Retreat is some fucking retarded game for losers. I will fucking hunt you down and put my dick inside your fucking mouth! Wait, you changed your mind? That's what I thought so, you cock-sucking motherfucker. Anyway, the game is quite admirable overall.
My Recommendations To Improve The Game
Oh boy, here we go again. I can't stress enough as whenever there's something that I might like or fap into, there's always bound to be elements that I hate or would eventually despise. However, I'm not here just to rant as at the same time; I'll be giving my recommendations to improve the game's overall content. So without further ado, let's begin with the first one.
The animations. Let me start by asking this to the creators of the game, did you guys literally leave this element out? I mean, really? I know there are artworks of the characters with different poses on various scenes, but you guys didn't even fucking bother to animate them? For something as basic as a dick penetrating a pussy, put some animations on it! I don't want to see only still images of the lewd fucking scenes, as I still want to get an immersive experience out of it. After all, it's still a pornographic game.
The other would be the sex scenes… Holy...Fucking...Shit, not only that it's repetitive, the sex scenes are barely even there! There are a few girls that you get to fuck with, but really? You get to fuck them at the same place, in the same position, and in the same fucking holes! Come on, people, be a little imaginative. There's a whole lot of sex positions and fetishes that would perfectly fit right in the game. So do something about it.
And lastly, the voice acting. There fucking aren't any. Absolutely zero. FUCKING NOTHING!
I can't put a lot of hate for the game because I actually liked it, even more than I care to admit. Despite some major and minor flaws in the game, Zombie's Retreat is actually a "playable" game. And when I mean playable, I mean that you can actually enjoy every second of the game from start to finish. Why? Because the estimated time for a player to finish the game doesn't even reach an hour.
Zombie's Retreat is a game where a man would try to survive the unexpected zombie apocalypse while attempting to rescue the rest of the survivors with him. Reading from that alone, anyone, especially me, would expect great things from the game as I assumed that it's another great game full of action, zombie killing, and a lot fucking. But boy, was I fucking disappointed.
PornGames likes Zombie's Retreat
- Intriguing gameplay
- Incredible artwork
- Fucking scenes
- I can't stress enough on how I love boobs
PornGames hates Zombie's Retreat
- Sloppy animations
- The sex scenes are limited
- No voice acting
- I finished the game in less than an hour