X-Change Life

I have… so much to say. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to dump info on you in the very first fucking paragraph:

- All the art and imagery is AI generated or AI spun

- All the voiced characters are voiced by AI bots that are supposed to sound like specific known characters

- Michael Scott is literally actually in this game

- Other characters from The Office are in this game as well

- You don’t get to fuck any of them

Welcome to current year, where transgender people are still trying to figure out where they fit in society, but porn game developers are making mad bank making sex change themed games, even though they give this shit out for free. The world is upside down, the ice caps are melting and men want to be women who fuck men, but they don’t want to be men who fuck men because that’s gay. This is where games like X-Change come in.

In the Beginning

You are Chad, or at least that’s what I named my character. You’re some guy in his twenties who lives with his step-dad. You can do chores, he can give you money, you can get a job. It’s an open game with a lot of exploration and interesting storylines. There are bitches at every corner, but there’s also a lot of cock. But this game isn’t gay, at least in genre, even though I found it to be too gay for my liking. We’ll get to that. I’m not judging, by the way, I’m just trying to clarify. Gay games are great too.

Anyways, you start off with a character creation screen that lets you customize your male and theoretical female appearance and stats, like charisma and intelligence. You can also change a few custom settings if you’d like, it’s up to you. For example, you can disable minigames if you’re like me and you hate distractions and immersion breaks. All in all, the game is promising right from the get go. I mean it took me all of 1 second to dive into the actual gameplay. There was no bullshit. The actual goddamn homepage auto-loads straight into the game, and it saves all of your progress as you go. You’re also free to save and load as much as you’d like down the line.

A Very Horny Universe

The world of X-Change is a lot like ours, with two major differences. One, everyone is constantly horny and two there are sex change pills that work miraculously and instantaneously. You can turn into a woman in a few seconds just by taking a pill and the effects are temporary. They last a couple of days. At least, they did for me. I’m sure there’s more to it than that and there might be ways to swap over permanently, but you get the idea. These pills are everywhere and you can buy them for yourself or for other people. You can talk about them, or go to parties where the pills are being thrown around for shits and giggles and of course, you can have sex while under the effects of the pill.

This is where the gay shit comes in, or at least I think it’s gay – help me out. You are a guy who turns into a girl for a day using a pill, then you suck every cock in a five-mile radius for no reason other than the pill also makes you really horny. So, is it gay? I mean, on screen it shows a man and a woman fucking each other. That’s about as straight as it gets. Still, the game is made in such a way that it talks to you directly. There’s narration and it’s aimed at you. You are the one getting dicked. That’s why I found it a bit too gay for my taste, even though the actual videos that showcase the action were awesome.

There Are Chicks

This part of the story rubbed me the wrong way, but it’s very true to life. When you’re walking around as a handsome, smart and charming dude, none of the women give you the time of day. They certainly don’t want to give you their phone numbers, let alone their pussies. But, they’ll have you buy them as many drinks as they can slosh down before they kindly tell you to take a hike. What a wonderful world we live in. I’d fault the developer for this, but it really is how women function in real life. I mean, they all want me – we know that, but that doesn’t mean I have it easy. That doesn’t mean that women suddenly act normal when I’m around. Everyone’s a gold digger in their own way.

So, I couldn’t bang any of the babes in this game. I didn’t want to spend hours on maxing out my money and charisma – I already do enough of that in real life. In the hour I spent playing X-Change I took part in a lot of man on woman sex, except I was always on the receiving end. Oh woe is me. I wanted to bang the babes, honest! But, alas, it was not in the cards. 

Critical Commentary on AI

Let’s face it, you’re all going to skip this section. It’s a pity too, because I have some cool shit to say. To the point – artists bitch and moan about how AI is taking their jobs. Except, this game probably wouldn’t have been made if it wasn’t for AI so it’s not like jobs are being stolen. Now, that doesn’t mean I think we should wash away all responsibility here. But, if we’re being honest, this game is about as moral and ethical as any other porn game of the same caliber. Really, try some of the older games that have this same HTML open world setup. You’ll see the same shit, except without the AI – the same shit being random ripped scenes from porn movies that were clipped into the game. 

You’re looking at actual photos of Idris Elba and Michael Scott, but they represent characters in the game. And, they’ve been run through an AI filter to make the photos theoretically original. The same thing has been done with the smut and the babes, but those received a bit more love and attention. Some of the images were AI stylized so much that they barely look real, others were just filtered over so they look kind of cinematic. Either way, it’s just a collection of random porn with a filter on top. This has been going on for 20 years now without AI. I don’t see what the big difference is. It’s all the same practice.

The Original Vs. The Rip

When you first open X-Change you’ll be greeted by the soothing sound of Resonance by HOME. That’s a song you’ve heard before, even if you don’t quite remember the name. It hasn’t been AI processed or anything, it’s just there. It’s the normal background music for X-Change. I guess if your video game is technically free you can get away with anything.

That being said, there is a lot of originality in X-Change, but it’s not found in the media, it’s in the story. The media is pretty standardized. A man and a woman fuck, so you see pussy and cock on screen. The story on the other hand seems to come with a lot of mystery, romance, sci-fi, thriller and all kinds of other tiny details that make the game that much more interesting. Seriously, just walking around in this world feels satisfying because you never know what’s lurking around the corner.  

I think that X-Change has a lot of promising features and story elements to make it a worthwhile play, especially since I didn’t come close to exhausting all the options on my first playthrough. On top of that, the game comes with zero bullshit. No microtransactions, no logins and the way that it is structured makes it easy to run on any device. It doesn’t preload. It’s too big for that and it would seriously fuck you up if you tried to download the whole thing at once, especially on a slow connection. It loads as much as it needs, then keeps loading assets in as you go. It’s a great approach. I’m sure you could get a zip of the game elsewhere if you really wanted one, though.