Warlock And Boobs

First thing’s first, there are breasts in this game that are bigger than entire fucking human beings. Ok, with that said, let’s talk about less interesting things, like the rest of the game. This is yet another RPG Maker porn game, but wait, don’t run away just yet. This is quite possibly the best RPG Maker porn game out there, by a mile. The kind of quality they’ve managed to cram into this tiny release, boggles my mind, and hardens my erection. Seriously, I am at a loss for words to describe just how arousing everything in this game is.

Equal Opportunity Bang-Master

You play as a motherfucker named Krowly, but I like to call him ThePornDude, because this guy really gets what life is all about. Sure, he’s a little awkward at times, and he’s nowhere near as good looking as me, but the kind of pussy this guy goes through in this game is astounding. He really reminds me of a younger version of myself, albeit with green hair for some fucking reason. He’s the kind of OG cool guy who’ll explore far and wide to plow every single bangable bitch in his hemisphere, or die trying.

His motivations aren’t strictly tied to pussy worship, but he always ends up balls deep inside some wench eventually. It’s almost like he’s not even trying; pussy just falls in his lap. That’s exactly how it is for me! I can’t stop relating to this guy, I swear.

Now, we are different in one way, potentially, depending on how you play the game. I don’t fuck with dudes. I appreciate and respect dudes. You all know these reviews are catered towards dudes, but I don’t engage in swordplay, if you know what I’m saying. Well, Krowley here is such an equal opportunist that he bangs dudes as well, sometimes. Maybe for every 6 chicks he goes through, he also bangs one dude. I can respect that. I ain’t gay or bisexual myself, but I’ll never look down on people looking to polish their flagpole.

Making RPG Maker Hot

The number one challenge that game makers who use this outdated ass game engine run into is making their games actually hot. Some developers pepper their games with titties, others try to cram in as many sex scenes as they can find, but I’ve never seen an entire goddamn RPG Maker title optimized this well across all forms of smut. There’s smut in combat, there’s smut in conversations, and of course, there’s smut during the sex scenes. But it doesn’t stop there, oh no.

Pretty much every single baddie that you fight in this game is also bangable. The way it works is, you run into an encounter and the baddies appear on screen in front of you, in 2D. You use your attacks, special abilities, magic, and item to whack them in the face. So far, so basic. But, the way they’re drawn really does something to my boner. It’s not just that they’re hot. It’s that they’re drawn so meticulously well that I really feel like I’m at the very least playing a current-generation video game. They’re not half-assed sprites from 1998. They’re proper modern porn art, and they make me want to fuck them.

Win-Win Combat Scenarios

Now, this is where things get interesting. If you defeat an enemy in combat, they die, or maybe they disappear into the void, I don’t know. The point is, they fuck off the screen, and you get experience points. But, if you get downed by them, they rape you. Sometimes they’ll go in one at a time, other times they’ll spitroast you for the hell of it. And, remember how I said that Krowly is an equal opportunity bang bro? Well, he can also get downed and outed by male enemies. Then there’s also slimes, but I won’t get into that. Slimes don’t have a gender, as far as I know. Basically, everyone and their grandmother can down you and fuck you. It’s awesome!

Any way you look at it, combat is fun. It either works in your favor, and you become stronger, or you fail and get rewarded with a sex scene. This is the kind of porn game balance that I live for. I am here to jack off after all. And speaking of jacking off…

Giant Tits

You wouldn’t think that this calls for an entire sub-heading, but fuck you, this is my review. Plus, the breasts in this game absolutely do deserve their own detailed breakdown, because someone went out of their way to spend hours to draw them. I love every single pair of tits that appears in this fucking game and not just when they’re being fucked. Take a regular encounter, like say, when you walk into an inn and ask for a drink. You get to see the actual innkeeper on screen, right?

Well, in this game, even though she’s fully clothed and just minding her business, her tits are massive, and it’s a bit of a spectacle. Her tits are so massive; in fact, they’re several times bigger than her head. They’re so massive that they barely fit on the screen. Now, not all titties are created equal. Some are so large they could pressure coal into a diamond overnight. Others could be used to bash your head in if you get too handsy. But the point is, all the tits in this game will eventually make their way into your dreams, because they’re that memorable.

Plus, they’re all kind of handcrafted to be unique. Yes, they’re all large, but they’re also very specific. Their shapes, textures, and all-around vibe are unique. Whoever drew these titties should win a medal for most original tits crammed into a single video game. Hell, check out the banner for the game. You’ll see at least a dozen pairs of tits crammed into wildly insufficient bras and shirts. And these are just the named characters. You don’t even get to see the actual baddies, who also have tits, until you play the game. This game is a titstravaganza.

Switching the Gay Off

Unlike real life, this game comes with a gay on/off switch that lets you pretend that you live in a world where gay people don’t exist. On the one hand, jeez, that’s kind of homophobic. On the other hand, well, it’s your choice who you want to fuck. If you don’t want to fuck dudes, that’s your right, my dude. So, by all means, feel free to switch the gay scenes off if you want to. It used to be that they’d get censored, but in newer versions of the game, they actually get skipped entirely. That way, you don’t have to experience them at all. They’re still in the narrative, technically, but you never have to look at them.

Just keep in mind that this will also disable futas. As a life-long appreciator of futa porn, I find this kind of sad. I’d like to opt-out of gay scenes but keep the chicks with dicks. Chicks with dicks are basically women with normal personalities, when you think about it. At the same time, there’s a pair of tits, but also a tangible lack of stupid questions and conversations about feelings.

This is the quintessential RPG porn game, with high-quality modern smut scenes in an old ass engine that is very outdated. Somehow, they made it work, and they’re delivering all of this smutty goodness to you for free. You can download a free copy of the game off of Mega, just check the Patreon for a download link.

The developer, boobsgames, is making over two grand a month at this point simply from tips alone. The game is available for free regardless of whether or not you pledge. That’s a clear indicator of success. This guy is really blowing people away with the ridiculous quality of smut he’s delivering.

I find it kind of funny how there are a few spelling errors here and there, but the story remains consistently great throughout. That tells me that this is a labor of love and not a professional undertaking. This is literally some guy’s wet dream, brought to reality and made public for the world to enjoy fapping to. Porn games that come from the heart are the absolute best.

From what I’ve seen so far, the game is still technically a demo. It’s receiving regular updates, but it’s far from being 100% finished. Yet, even in its current state, it’s absolutely fap-worthy, and I recommend that you get your hands on it as soon as possible. You won’t regret it.