Mysteria Lane

Have you ever wondered what kind of weird sexual secrets are hidden in plain sight all over your town? Do you strive to control your wife, her hot step-daughter, and random schoolgirls around town? We all have dreams that would get us arrested if we tried to act them out, but fortunately, there are games like Mysteria Lane where you can live out fantasies unavailable in real life. This strategic sex game is layered with mystery, suspense, and the constant possibility of a kinky hookup.

Mysteria Lane is “an adult strategy game that contains explicit dark, sexual themes”, according to the landing page. It’s brought to you by SelectaCorp, a Patreon-supported indie sex game company. While hundreds of fans are donating to keep the interactive visual stories coming, you can play Mysteria Lane for free. A Windows download is available, but I’ll be playing the web-based version for this review.

Hot Housewives with Dirty Secrets

A few hot housewives stare at me from the title screen as I’m getting ready to start my journey. They look good, and I immediately wonder what kind of shit the game will let me to do them if I play my cards right.

The first thing I did was click the Overview button at the beginning of the game. The setup is relatively simple. I’m an average married man who suddenly finds himself out of work and forced to relocate to Harmony Heights. It’s a classic tale of an idyllic town that just ain’t what it seems. There will be challenges, practical and moral.

“What would you do if you were given the power to indulge your darkest sexual fantasies?” the blurb asks at the end. After the Overview screen, I spent a few minutes clicking through the Getting Started, Tips, and FAQ screens. An on-screen tutorial would have been more fun, but whatever. There weren’t a lot of controls or anything to memorize, but more of a general sense of what’s to come.

Once I’d gotten through the help screens, I clicked Start Now. Mysteria Lane presented me with a few more click-and-read screens with more background information. I got fired off some #MeToo bullshit when I made a throwaway joke at work, and I’m married to a self-absorbed, prudish MILF with a hot stepdaughter who happens to be a social justice warrior. When wifey gets a new job as a speech therapist in a ritzy neighborhood, I don’t have much say in relocating.

You’re then given some customization options for your wife, step-daughter, and the bitch who got you fired. You can’t change how they look, but you can give them new names and random details like best friend’s name, favorite fashions, and career role models. It’s a neat feature, though I can’t help wondering what it would be like if the physical models were customizable, too. Since I couldn’t make the girls look like anyone I know, I didn’t bother changes their names or other details.

Porno fans with an eye for details are going to love the photos they’ve chosen for the babes. Your wife is MILF Cory Chase. Your daughter is starlet Chloe Toy. The assistant who got you fired is red-haired fetish model Kendra James, so you’d better watch she doesn’t stomp your balls.

Who’s the Slave, You or Wifey?

“Since you don’t have anything else to do, could you please do some dusting and vacuum the house before I get home? Xoxoxox, Cathy,” read the note stuck to the fridge the moment the game actually started. My options were to do it or ignore the request. Hovering over the options gives me some clues about the consequences. Doing it will make me lose a point of dominance, but ignoring it will cost me a point of charisma. It’s a bitch of a choice, but in the end, I do what I’d probably do in real life, which was to jerk off instead.

I clicked, and nothing happened, so I clicked again. And then again. And then after a bunch of clicks trying to ignore the problem, I clicked to just give in and vacuum the damn house. It was only then that I noticed Mysteria Lane had been counting my clicks the whole time. My Dominance is only at -1, but my Charisma is now a lowly -18. Fuck me! (Or maybe don’t, as I’m neither dominant nor charismatic.)

It’s a bad start to week one, but hopefully, things will look up for me soon. The screen gives me a few options about what to do next. I can fuck with my phone, explore the neighborhood, check out my achievements, or just skip forward to the next week. My wife is glaring at me from the top of the screen, so maybe I should talk to her first.

I click my wife’s face, and the game brings me to Cathy’s Transformation Settings. The menu page gives me different options for Appearance, Activities, Preferences, and Behavior, but each one just brings me to a page with a photo and not much else. I think this is something I have to build as I progress through the game. I see what appears to be a measurement of whether she’s a Trophy Wife, Slave Wife, or Slut Wife, and I can’t wait to use this feature more.

I think the safe in my Home Office works the same way. I see my wife, step-daughter, and workplace rival popping out of cartoony safes. Each pretty face links to what looks like it may eventually be a gallery of pervy shit to jack off to. I’ve got my fingers crossed and my tube of lube at the ready.

Trying to Trigger the Hottest Girls

I checked my phone next and found a minimum wage stocking job at ProductMart. The place wasn’t open, or I’m just blind, because I couldn’t find it on the map. I ended up stopping in at the real estate office, since the box that popped up told me, “maybe one of their staff can answer questions about the town.”

I was getting a little annoyed with the game’s overall slow pace and lack of direction, but suddenly it looked like my first opportunity to do some pervy shit. The real estate agent is straight out of a porno movie, with a tiny little nothing skirt and blouse with fuck-me heels. She asks me how I like Harmony Heights and tells me nobody ever seems to leave. Meanwhile, I’m thinking of something dirty to type into the text box before I click ATTEMPT TRIGGER.

“Do you know the comissionary position?” I ask, thinking I’m being clever as fuck. Nothing happens when I click ATTEMPT TRIGGER, so I try for a simpler, “Suck my dick.” That doesn’t do anything either, nor does, “Sell me a house.”

I left with blue balls and sulked over to the nearby library. The librarian is a sexy bitch wearing what looks like a sweater as a small dress. She’s got the same ATTEMPT TRIGGER button, but doesn’t respond to questions like, “Can you show me to your tits?” The same goes for the Hooters girl at the “sports bar”, and the MILF at the dress store.

OMFG and Schoolgirls, Too!

I clicked on a little female icon I saw on the map, and Mysteria Lane presented me with a schoolgirl in a little red skirt. She looks like a grown-up, but her strict uncle won’t let her talk to strangers, and she has to follow his rules at all times.

I was hoping to convince her otherwise, but the scene is non-interactive. Her uncle calls her over, saying, “Girls who don’t flirt will never get hurt.” I went back to the map screen, my balls still aching for release.

There’s a lot of depth to Mysteria Lane’s storyline, and a lot of different shit you can do to unravel the mysteries within. The elaborate nature of the game is really going to win over the hearts and minds of perverts who appreciate something deep and fappable. At the same time, that slow pace is really going to turn off gamers who are looking for a quick wank to some interactive CG titties.

Mysteria Lane is a complex NSFW strategy game that takes place in a kinky little town full of secrets. It’s a lengthy tale that has earned thousands of rabid fans around the world and continues to hook perverts to this day. It’s a bit ambitious, so don’t get into it unless you’ve got plenty of time to sit around and masturbate while exploring Harmony Heights.