Summertime Saga

Summertime Saga is a sickeningly relatable dating sim and visual novel where you play as a freshman in college. Remember all those hot, popular chicks who called you a loser whenever you tried to talk to them? Well, in Summertime Saga, you get to bang them, along with plenty of other goths, girls-next-door, nerds, and even your teachers.

You play as a clueless, sad sack who lost his father after a sudden death. The mystery surrounding your Dad’s passing is an intriguing side plot that doesn’t get in your way. What’s important is that you move in with your Dad’s longtime friend, a total MILF who caters to your every fucking whim. You have a smoking hot roommate who hates your guts at first, but after you spy on her in the shower a few times, she might end up changing her mind about you.

When you head back to school, after a month, you have to catch up on all your homework. Who the fuck cares about school, though? You will, after you get a load of all the teachers you can choose from. Got a raging hard-on during a private tutoring lesson? No problem, your French teacher will be sure to take care of that. But only if you do your fucking homework, dumbass.

How you choose to spend your time is important. If you blow off all your homework, you lose out on those chances to spend some oh-so quality time with your teachers. Then again, you could always focus on your side jobs, and make a shit ton of money to spend at the mall. If you just want to pay to fuck some chick in a massage parlor, more power to you. You can only progress the storylines with some of the girls if you have the cash to spend on their every fucking desire, just like in real life.

Balancing your time between going to school, working side jobs, and fucking around is hard enough. On top of that, some chicks won’t even give you the time of day unless your social stats are high enough. They’ll just keep calling you an un-fuckable loser until you have enough charm to hold a conversation with them seriously. So you somehow have to make time during your limited days to level up your stats between everything else. This game makes you work for your shit, but if that pisses you off, read on anyway, because there’s a workaround.

Play It Your Way

Summertime Saga doesn’t hold your goddamned hand. You have total freedom to do whatever the hell you want from day to day. You can choose to play the game the normal way, as in you start with absolutely nothing, and you have to try your best to get girls to actually fuck you. Or you can skip all that bullshit and get right to the good stuff.

Either way, you’re free to spend your time however you want. You start each day in your room, where you can use your telescope to peep on your neighbors. Spying on your schoolmate, putting on her bra and panties, never gets old. Then you can go to school and talk to said schoolmate as if you didn’t see her bare ass just five minutes ago.

During the day, you can go to school, work side jobs for money, head to the mall, do your homework, or talk to people. You can only do two activities before the day passes to night. Then, you can only do one more thing before your character gets tired, and you need to rest. Time management is key, so if you suck at it, this is a great way to fucking learn.

Playing Summertime Saga the normal way isn’t as bad as it sounds. Yeah, you have to talk to people and hold real conversations. Learning about the characters is pretty neat, since you can form some real bonds with them. If you’re shy about social interactions, Summertime Saga can help you set that bullshit aside. You can always count on a video game character to say everything you want to hear while she strokes your dick, right?

If you’re not into that mushy shit, then play with all the cheats instead. You start with max social stats, a fuckton of money, and you get to skip mini-games. Normally, this is for returning players who already know what they’re doing. If you’re new and want to skip right to fapping, then this mode is perfect for you, too.

The only thing is, this god mode is only available while the game is in alpha. That means you’d better download the fucking thing now before it’s gone. It’s free, so what the hell are you waiting for?

Fuck the Whole Town

You can fuck pretty much any girl in the game. Bang that hot MILF who takes you in, your bitchy roommate, the popular girls in school, the nerds, the MILF’s friend, and your teachers. Hell, you can even screw around with the hot guy who helps you work out at the gym.

Your character looks like a total dweeb, but your big dick more than makes up for that. Before you know it, you’ll have girls begging for you to fuck them. Fuck the librarian, fuck the hot cheerleader, fuck the goth girl, fuck your lonely neighbor, fuck everyone.

Summertime Saga isn’t shy about kinks, either. Vanilla sex is there, but you can also mess around with anal, latex, breastfeeding, threesomes, and gay sex, to name a few. The game’s website has a bunch of examples listed, so go crazy, you freak.

If you ever just want to be friends with someone, don’t count on it. There will be times when you can’t progress with a character’s storyline unless you agree to touch her tits in a locker-room stall, for example. This can be irritating as fuck if you’re really not into the person like that and just want to progress their storyline.

What I Like

Summertime Saga is a simple game that seems so much bigger than it is. There’s a ton to do throughout your days and nights. No one’s bossing you around, telling you to go here or there. Everything’s on your terms, when you want and where you want.

Some of the situations with these characters are fucking hilarious. The meathead bully who’s always messing with you? Dig around in his locker, and you’ll find a children’s book for learning how to read. That schoolmate you can spy on through your telescope? Find her at the right time, and she’s humping her teddy bear on her bed. Subtle shit like that stays with you.

The art style is great to look at, and the animations are pretty well-done. Characters look great, and the fuckable girls and guys are all pretty sexy in their own ways. There are tons of characters to choose from, too. On top of that, their kinks fit right in with their storylines. Wouldn’t you wonder how your neighbor makes a killing selling milk to the local pizza shop?

It’s great that you can choose the game mode you want, too, at least for now. Hopefully, the developers will change their minds and keep this choice for the official release.

What I Hate

The game expects you to fuck everyone. So when you don’t want to fuck, and you just want to be friends with someone, all you can do is ignore them.

Because the game is so open-ended, you won’t always know what to do next. Yeah, you can click on your phone to bring up a to-do list. But the information there is vague as fuck, so you might have to look shit up online.

The time management and social shit can get on your nerves. There may be points where you can’t finish a quest because you don’t have enough strength, intelligence, or whatever else. Those roadblocks could make you seriously consider starting over with the cheats instead.

Since Summertime Saga is still in alpha, not everything is available to you yet. You can click over items in a store or a certain building, and you’ll get a message pretty much telling you to fuck off. It’s fine that this shit isn’t ready yet, but why’s it visible in-game? The whole thing feels like a giant tease.

This Game Is Fucking Popular

Summertime Saga is a serious cash cow for the developers. They run a Patreon where they earn over $55,000 per month from their loyal followers. You can bet your ass that these developers are working around the clock to update this fucking game. They’re pretty transparent about their update priorities. And they’re good about communicating on their Discord channel.

Plus, if you turn into a real fan of Summertime Saga, you can cough up that Patreon money for some exclusive shit.

Everyone can look forward to more characters to fuck, more locations to spend your hard-earned money, and more shit to do with your time.