Harem Hotel

Harem Hotel is exactly what it sounds like. This is a game where you play around in your own hotel that just so happens to be a harem. Harem Hotel is a point-and-click adventure mixed with a dating sim and visual novel, and it has something for everyone.

If you’ve played any of these kinds of games, then you’ve played this one, too. You’ll get mediocre writing, a standard 3D animation style, and a whole harem of girls to choose from. But you have to put the work in if you want the actual harem part of the game.

You inherit the hotel after your grandfather dies, and it’s up to you as the new manager to bring the place up to snuff. Most of the girls quit once you’re put in charge, so you pretty much have to start over with no money.

That’s right; you play as a real manager, earning money, upgrading the hotel, and dealing with all the girls you meet. There’s no instant gratification here, motherfucker. So if that’s what you’re looking for, you might as well back out now.

Don’t worry about this being a management sim, though. You earn money automatically as the days pass, but if all you do is wait, shit can end up taking forever. If you want more money to improve the hotel, then you have to rely on the girls. Harem Hotel encourages you to talk to the girls and level up their stats, like friendship, affection, and obedience. Earn enough friendship with them, and you can take sexy pinup photos to sell to lonely guys online.

The game claims right at the start that you don’t need to bother with leveling up stats, but this is bullshit. Like I just mentioned, if you want to take those pinup pictures, you have to have a high enough friendship rating with the girl. You need higher stats to do some things with them, if not everything. Sure, you can hit up your favorite girl for a blowjob whenever she’s available. If you want to invite her to the hotel’s dungeon for some BDSM scenes, her stats have to be high enough.

Harem Hotel is slow-going at first until you meet more girls, so you might as fucking well level their stats up. There’s literally nothing else worthwhile to do in this game except to spend time with the girls. Well, you can always play VR porn games through your computer in your room.

Harem Hotel is quick to point out that those games have no impact on the main story. So why not make friends with the girls, earn their affection and obedience, and make them submissive to you?

Cute and Fun, But Familiar-Looking

Harem Hotel has a sweet and bubbly 3D art style that looks familiar. Just about any random dating game on the internet uses this same look. It’s pretty standard, but it’s not that big of a deal. Unless you hate getting reminded of those throwaway browser games, the look of Harem Hotel shouldn’t bother you too much.

If you had a real girlfriend, this is something she wouldn’t mind playing with you. Or if you’re just into this cute art style, don’t be fucking ashamed. It’s decent enough, and I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to fuck the elf maid who’s 300 years old. She looks like any young girl, of course, and she’s a virgin when you first meet her. Yep, Harem Hotel has plenty of ridiculous anime tropes for you, too.

There’s something innocent about Harem Hotel that comes along with its style. Even when you’re raw dogging a college slut in her room, the game never feels hardcore or anything. Is crazy, rough sex not your thing? Don’t worry; Harem Hotel’s got you covered with basic, repetitive animations and cute, fun colors. Everything is bright and upbeat, making this the perfect game for someone like you who’s still reading this.

Plenty of Girls, Plus More to Come

The hotel starts with a busty receptionist, that virgin elf girl I talked about earlier, and a standoffish nerdy chick. When you talk to the receptionist, she straight up tells you that you have to wait for more girls to join the harem over time. But the wait is worth it, since you meet all kinds of girls to date and fuck. Before you know it, you’ll have that college slut and her friend waking you up in the best way possible.

You’re not always waiting around for more girls to join your hotel, though. Visit the college girl on her campus, and you’ll meet her classmates. Keep visiting, and you’ll end up spying on all them in the women’s locker room. Pretty much anything goes once you meet a girl, and she’s interested in you. You’re free to wander around your hotel, chatting up the girls, taking them out on dates, or asking for (maybe even demanding) a quick fuck.

What’s fun is that all the girls have their own unique personalities. Harem Hotel isn’t afraid to turn you on or turn you off, depending on what you’re into. Love clingy girls who worship your cock and obsess over sex? Hate bitchy cheerleaders who act like they’re queens of everything? You’re free to devote yourself to the girls you like, all while avoiding the ones you can’t stand.

What I Like

Harem Hotel is a game that gives you a lot of freedom. You can do whatever you want, as long as you have the money or required stats.

Since you’re the faceless, powerful manager, you have a lot of responsibility in the hotel. If you want to know what it’s like to be the Dominant in a BDSM relationship, this isn’t a bad place to start. You’ll learn that you can’t go around being a douchebag to everyone and expect to get special treatment. So if that’s what you’re used to in your life, this sweet-looking game has something to teach you, asshole.

Harem Hotel’s main developer promises new content on the regular, including more girls and more fetishes. This dev isn’t shy about advertising their Patreon page in-game, so if you’re curious, it won’t be too hard to stumble on it.

What I Hate

Harem Hotel’s early game is rough. And not in a good way. You start with no money, and all you can do is wait around for more opportunities. Want more girls? You have to wait.

Want more money? You have to wait to get more as the days pass. Or you have to spend time leveling the girls’ friendship stats, for example, to gain their trust. Then, you can take those photos of them to sell. But unless you fork over cash for the sexier, more expensive outfits, you won’t make much money off of those photographs.

Too impatient for that? Well, too bad. You have to be willing to deal with a slow start before things get going.

Aside from that, the actual sex animations are hilariously stiff. They’re fully-animated, okay, but it’s just not great to look at. Could you jack off to the same old repetitive, mechanical animations? I bet you could if you really wanted to. Just don’t act surprised if the shit gets old after a while.

The same goes for the writing. Sometimes the quality’s pretty decent, like at the start when you learn about the hotel’s backstory. But once some of the girls start explaining their ridiculous lives to you, everything’s out the window. The writing can be seriously fucking childish, but who’s actually here for an amazing story?

BDSM Is Here to Stay

You’ll find most of the standard BDSM kinks here, including exhibitionism, spanking, watersports, and tons more. If you’re not into BDSM, you can stick with vanilla sex, too. Get to know the girls and find out what they like.

Or just be a controlling asshole and put them into uncomfortable situations, like spanking them over and over even after they beg you to seriously stop. But you shouldn’t be a shithead like that, since you’ll end up pissing the girls off, and then they won’t want anything to do with you.