If My Heart Had Wings

Not every porn game I review can be an online pussy clicker. Sometimes we have to dive into something with a little more meat. Between the browser freemium titles on the far left and the indie RPGs on the far right, you’ve got Japanese visual novels – which are the OG porn games. Even before they figured out how to get away with showing actual sucking and fucking in a video game, the Japs have been making fantastic dating simulators, using low tech game engines and high paid visual artists. So they’ve pretty much been slapping high-quality titties into visual novels and giving you amazing immersion with minimal input. In better visual novels, you get to decide who to romance and when. They also let you choose your dialogue options. Other visual novels will pretty much lock you on a rail and give you the illusion of choice. And if they’re particularly swell, they’ll provide you proper sex scenes when you’re done.

Today, we’re talking about If My Heart Had Wings, which is an exciting visual novel with a lot of history and some controversy.

Invasive Smut Removal

There’s nothing I appreciate more than people who make mods that add smut to games that have none. I played through the new Resident Evil 2 twice, once regularly and another time with fully naked babes throughout. I even switched out some of the male characters for sexy naked chicks, because I can. Don’t judge me. It’s the right way to play the game as far as I’m concerned. Now, there are also some crazies out there who will make mods to actually remove smut from a game that is already smutty, and I just don’t get that. Maybe they’re offended by nudity, or they want to make a game more appropriate for kids. I mean, I can understand that. You don’t want your kids seeing titties before their time. It makes sense. But, if the game is already rated M, removing the smutty parts isn’t exactly going to make it appropriate. Either way, you can just avoid these mods as an adult and play your filthy games to your heart’s content.

But, what happens when developers go out of their way to castrate their own games and force you to play a smut-free variant of an otherwise super sexy game? Well, you get "If My Heart Had Wings" on PC. I’m not kidding. This is the first porn game title I’ve ever reviewed that got absolutely destroyed before it got ported to PC for Western audiences. The game was originally an H title, that is, a hentai game. It still had all the gameplay you see in the screenshots, but it also had a ton of hot sexy fuck action with all the girls. You could fuck them six ways to Sunday on your way to unraveling the awesome story. It was a perfect game. Then, the developers decided to translate it for western audiences, and they absolutely crippled it. There is some hope for the game, but before we get to that, I need to rant a little bit more.

A Castrated Shell of its Former Self

So I mentioned that the smut scenes were completely removed, and this game essentially got bumped down a rating. That should be enough to dissuade you from playing, at least, if you intended to play it one-handed. But, what if I tell you that it gets a lot worse?

First of all, the western PC port came with an English translation. It’s now officially an English game, if you buy on Steam. But, this translation is absolute dogshit. I think so, and the community seems to agree. In fact, they’re so livid with the translation that they made their own, better version, and are offering it as a free patch. I fully recommend that you get the translation patch as soon as you buy the game, because it’s otherwise quite ridiculous.

The absolute worst offense, though, has to be the removal of romance. You see, it wasn’t enough for them to remove the sex scenes, oh no. That would have been too tame a castration. They took it further and completely removed any smutty undertones. That means that your character never actually flirts with any of the girls. Instead, they become the best of friends. What a world, am I right? Plus, the original had a ton of naughty bits that were tongue in cheek and that adults would get a hell of a rise out of. They were entertaining, and they spiced up the gameplay. The story is super engaging, and the adult jokes and situations just made it flow even better.

Well, you get none of that. Plus, the translation is crap. So, let’s redeem this thing before you all decide that this game’s not worth the 15 bucks it costs. Oh, by the way, the game often goes on sale, and it’s currently available for three dollars, but who knows when you’ll be reading this review. Try to hold out for a deal, if you can. Now, to save this game from the absolute destruction of the developers, there are several mods you’re going to want to get your hands on. I mentioned the translation mod, and it’s absolutely crucial. On top of that, you’ll also need the community smut mod that adds the original adult content back into the game. I haven’t had a chance to test it properly, but I hope that it restores the game to its original state, when it was absolutely fap worthy.

Not Just for Faps

Now that I’ve managed to complain about all the parts of this game that took a hit during the port, we can focus on the good parts that you can find in any version of If My Heart Had Wings. I don’t usually consider myself a softie, especially not in the late evening hours when I just want to fap. However, this game has a lot of lovely moments that will keep you super entertained, especially if you’re not playing it one-handed.

I mean, there’s more to it than just wanting to fuck the girls. It’s a deep existential commentary as well as a very nice emotional rollercoaster, if you’re the type of guy who likes some real-life immersion with his smut games. And, maybe you could just avoid the smut patch all together if you’re just looking for a fun game to play. Personally, I wouldn’t judge you. Still, I have to talk about the smut first and foremost, because that’s what you’re all here for.

An Amazing Story

This game’s story is an absolute gem, without a doubt. It starts with the main character returning home, deciding to take a break for a while and reconnecting with some old friends, who just happen to all be female. A recent injury had shattered the protagonist’s dreams of becoming a racer, and he pretty much has to pump the breaks for a bit. But then, he dives headfirst into the world of gliders. All of the characters in this game are in one way or another obsessed with soaring into the skies. It’s a pretty touchy-feely story that’s sure to keep you immersed. There’s a lot of deep parallels with real-life strife thrown in there. It’s not a casual game. Even without the smut, it’s still very much aimed at adults. It gets you thinking about your own life and mortality as well as the pursuit of your dreams.

Your ultimate goal in the game is to cooperate with all the girls and their soaring club, which is basically a club centered around building a functional glider. Then, you want to fly it straight through a particular cloud formation that only appears in the early mornings. It’s a very sweet and innocent dream that everyone is on board with, and it’s going to take a lot of work. I wholeheartedly recommend you play this game, whether you add the smut in or not. It’s very much up to you.

Either way, you’re going to have a ton of fun, and it’s definitely worth the discount price, if not the entire full price, depending on how many times you want to play the game. There are several different endings, and some of them require that you finish the game entirely once, before you can unlock the other endings.

As a side note, I have to mention that even though all of the art is absolutely gorgeous, there is minimal animation, even in the original sex scenes. However, they make up for this by having voice acting throughout the entire game, for every single character. That really beefs up the quality and keeps you entertained. Without the voice acting, the limited animations would grind on you really quickly.