Gyat

Well this was a surprising abomination of a project. The developers behind Gyat reached out directly. This is common. I get emails from developers on the daily. I don’t mind. It fits my schema of reviewing just about everything under the sun. I’m not picky. This game got me thinking that maybe I should be. Don’t worry, I’m not tightening any nooses, I’m still going to review them far, wide and unconditionally. I’m just a bit peeved is all. I was promised a lot of …stuff. A lot of features and surprises. I fell for the marketing.

I normally don’t take marketing at face value, especially when porn is involved, but I have a soft spot for people, especially when they’re fellow perverts. When the developers reached out directly, I thought - hey, this must be good. There must be some value hidden deep inside this gold mine. When they started talking about minimum requirements and modern PCs I got a half-chub. I thought: Damn, these guys are really swinging high and hard. This is going to be amazing. Alas… no joy.

A Bleak Start

They told me to jump in and go ham. They gave me some reviewer premium cheat codes so I could experience the game much faster. Kudos for that. No, you don’t get to have them. Reviewer’s privilege. It was supposed to give me a larger taste of the game in a smaller amount of time. It worked, but I wasn’t very amused. I did this review on my gaming computer, to make use of the aforementioned, hinted at high performance and quality. It worked. The whole game was in-browser, properly 3D and very next-gen, at least, on paper. 

It still looked like a wet potato. The whole point of the game is that you get to control a 3D character in 3D space across a large environment that’s riddled with opportunity for sucks and fucks. Like an open orgy. 

You jump in instantly. No prep. No muss, no fuss. Your default character is clothed and if I remember correctly, he’s male, but you can switch that pretty much instantly. That was fine. The problem I had was with the overall janky feel and vibe of the game. It was bleak. It made me feel bored before I even put my fingers over the old WASD keys.

Walk Around, Fuck Around

I started out on a beach. There were people around. Some of them were already fucking. There was a fully functional social system, full with chat and all, so I could make friends in strange places, and touch them in even stranger ones. And yet, I wasn’t feeling the magic. The graphics didn't make me hard. Sure, I’m a bit spoiled. I know that. 

Futuristic graphics and the like have me a bit demanding. If I don’t see millions of polygons covered in ray traced shadows, I cringe. Tis the way of the future. I’m a spoiled masturbator. A real brat. But, I really did give this game a chance. I really did. I went in with the hopes and dreams of properly breeding some babes, or alternatively, hopping into a female body and getting bred - not my kink, it was for the review. Don’t judge me.

I got the screenshots. It worked. I was just not amused. When you reduce sex to base mechanics and the simplest depictions, no amount of 3D and simplicity is going to help your boner. It just doesn’t work like that. You need immersion. You need to feel like your choices matter - like the sex you’re giving and receiving is the direct result of who you are as a person and of the actions you have taken thus far. It’s the same in real life. 

The pussies I end up fucking are the direct result of my charm and my hard work. People assume that I just woke up one day as ThePornDude. Nah, fam. It took work. It took dedication. It took blood, sweat, tears and cum in strikingly similar amounts. In short, I’ve gotten better boners from playing text based porn games, than I did from Gyat.

The Simplicity Rescues this Game

I will not be banishing Gyat to the depths of hell, regardless of my lukewarm welcome. It has to do with the io suffix. You know, it’s Gyat dot io. I didn’t get the memo on this, but it’s a clear conclusion - these io suffixed games seem to be plug and play, jump in and go, instant satisfaction experiences, whether they’re pornographic or otherwise. 

You don’t have to register an account. You don’t have to download a client. You don’t gotta do dick. You just head on over to the URL and the whole sexstravaganza just… loads in your browser, instantly. There’s frontloading, of course, as you walk around, but it’s seamless. You don’t have to pump any brakes. I think that’s the saving grace here. Gyat is a dry pussy in an even drier desert of internet bullshit. It’s nice to have a place to go where you know you’re always welcome by default, even if it is a bit of a polygon nightmare.

I foresee good things for Gyat, because of this. It won’t take off like wildfire or anything. But, it will grow. It will grow steadily and firmly because the developers do actually care. The love they put into this bad boy is evident. They didn’t fuck around. I’m very happy when I run into porn game projects that are clearly made by the people for the people, fully aware that somewhere behind the curtain, there are devs looking to make a payday. They should. They’ve deserved it. 

Freedom Comes at a Price

Gyat is a free game, yes. You make money by walking around the map. It’s the simplest way to reward you for actually playing. With that money you can customize your character, both physically and in terms of outfits. It’s a great system that directly rewards your devotion to the game. If you want to cut corners, you can use real life money instead. That’s always on the table too. This is how you do free to play. Give me the option to give you money, but don’t force me to use it. It relaxes me. It’s like proper orgy decorum. Don’t force anyone. Respect everyone’s boundaries. They will open up to you in time, when they’re ready.

It’s a nice parallel for the gameplay itself. It’s an open world in which everyone can bang anyone, any way they want, but you have to get consent. Shouldn’t be too hard. People are here to get digitally laid after all. Just don’t be a prick. I barely gave the communication any attention and I had an easy time making friends. It really is a breeze. As for the actual satisfaction levels of the sex, well, you gotta make your own story. You’re in charge of your own immersion. If you manage to identify with your character and really get into the groove, then you’ll have a great time.

About the Technicals

It’s great that the game runs on just about any device, even though it’s a proper 3D title. The whole minimum requirements talk from before, that was a bit of a misdirect. Yes, there are pros and cons to the performance, depending on your setup, but for the most part you’re good to go if you can run just about any 3D game on your PC. The base engine is made to work on a toaster, the enhanced graphics are there for bulkier PCs. I’m sure the game would work a lot better if it wasn’t embedded in a browser, but these kinds of engines have come a long way. The difference shouldn’t be that grand.

As for the differences between high end and low end graphics, well, they’re noticeable. Very noticeable. The one that really sticks out is the visibility distance. If you crank that motherfucker up you can see buildings on the horizon that straight up weren’t there before. I was completely in the dark, until I cranked up that slider and realized I was basically surrounded by all kinds of geography. This is a really smart way to make the game playable for most people. What matters above all is being able to see the action on screen. The distant buildings and the rest of the game world can be explored down the line, by you, and you can be rewarded for it with in-game cash.