Tower defense games can sometimes be either really fun or one of the worst things on the planet. And, if you’re looking for a sexy tower defense game, it can be that much more difficult to find a good one. However, Girls Garrison is a strong game even though its sexiness and jerk off status may not be the highest. Let’s take a look at the specifics of the game and examine what makes it a fantastic tower defense sex game.
A Story Worth Remembering
In a sex game, sometimes the story doesn’t go anywhere. And, frankly, it doesn’t have to. But, when it’s done right, a sex story can attract both your attention and your dick.
For the purposes of this review, and due to time constraints, I didn’t get far into the story. But, from what I played, the levels you play each have a dramatic flair that adds to the overall story of the game. For example, every time you enter a level, you’re met with a description of the context of what’s going on. You know that you’re defending a village or a watchtower or any other defense scenario.
So, if you’re a true weirdo and get off on good storytelling (there’s got to be a fetish for this out there, right?), then this is the perfect game you want to make time to play.
The story also makes your characters important, since you have an actual context for your actions. It’s a great way to invest the player while also keeping the atmosphere sexy.
So, as with any tower defense game, the goal of each level is to build up your garrison of resources and stop the enemy’s advancement from point A to point B. Naturally, you’re going to need troops, soldiers, and whatever else the game supplies you with.
In Girls Garrison, you have the option of choosing from four different classes of soldiers. First, you have the Archer. They launch arrows into your opponents. Next, you have the Soldier. These guys and gals wield swords and act nicely as a blockade. Third, there are the wizards/mages who rain down fireballs upon the enemies. Finally, you have the option to place cannons on the field of play.
Now, it’s important to note that each one of these placements costs a set amount of crystals. Once you’ve used them before the match starts, you can only gain more by defeating enemies within the match. It’s a great setup, as you have to strategically make decisions since you only have a limited amount of resources.
Now, you may be wondering where the sexiness comes in. And, I promise you that it's coming just like you will be once you get a glimpse of some of the prizes you get from winning these matches. But, for now, the game steers clear of major sexiness vibes and instead focuses on giving you an amazing tower defense experience that you won’t soon be forgetting.
So, with all of these garrisons of girls (see what I did there?), you may be wondering if they are enough to combat the forces of evil you come up against. No, they alone aren’t enough to thwart the enemy combatants. To accomplish this, you need something a little extra. More abilities that allow you to take advantage of the enemies in battle. And that’s exactly what you get with cooldown abilities.
Along with the various garrisons of troops you have, you also have the opportunity to use special abilities that operate on a cooldown timer. These are crucial to victory. Through my time playing the game, they came in handy quite often and saved me from certain defeat time and time again.
Starting, you can place two troops on the field wherever you want. These guys wield swords and aren’t the best ability to use. They don’t sway the battle one way or another, but they are helpful in a pinch when two extra bodies are all you need to try and contain the enemies. The recharge time on this is pretty quick compared to the others.
Another helpful ability you have the option of using is a green lighting strike. You can rain down lightning like cum on an anime girl’s tits with this ability, and it’s decently powerful, too. But, beware that you may have to wait a bit before using it again. The recharge time takes a while.
The third and final ability I used was one that shoots a flurry of arrows down upon your opponents. This one worked OK, but there are definitely better ones to use if you’re in danger.
Combining these cooldown abilities with the placement of your class of soldiers makes for a fun and challenging time. The enemies don’t go down easily, so make sure you prepare before hopping into the match.
Heroes and Their Big Tits
Along with all of these abilities and special classes to choose from, you also gain the ability to recruit new heroes to deploy into the field. If you’ve been wondering when the sexy women were going to come into play, now is the time.
Each one of them contains a special ability that they can use on the battlefield. And, once the match is over, you get to know these girls. And by get to know these girls, I mean you get to talk dirty to them. After every match, you have the option of opening up a dialogue with your Heroes. Most of the time, it’s a conversation where you choose between a couple of dialogue options.
These options lead to the girl either liking you or developing a distaste for you. If you say the right things, she’ll send you a photo. A naughty photo. These photos are stored in an album that I’m sure you’ll whack off to once you’re done “playing” the game.
The battlefield in Girls Garrison should look familiar to you if you’ve played games like Candy Crush Saga. You’re given a map with various points of interest (battles). You follow a linear line as you move through these battles and are rated with one to three stars based on how well you performed in the match. More stars mean more resources and currency, which leads to leveling up your Heroes, abilities, and classes of soldiers.
What I Like
I really enjoy the combat. It’s smooth, it’s challenging, and it’s easy to understand via an excellent tutorial. The classes of soldiers are fun and varied, as well. The Heroes are a fun addition and add some personal flair to your matches. Daily login rewards are welcome, and the conversation system is fun.
What I Hate
The only thing I really dislike about this game is that there’s not a ton of sex. I would love for there to be more tits and ass. Instead, you have a fantastic tower defense game with a sexy edge.
Play this game if you’re a tower defense fan. Even if you’re not, play it anyway. It’s a fun time that requires some thought and is quite the challenge at times. However, if you’re looking for a game that you want to blow your load to, this probably isn’t the best pick.
PornGames likes Girls Garrison
- Combat is fun and simple to learn
- It’s challenging
- The dialogue system adds spice to the game
- There’s a story you’ll care about
PornGames hates Girls Garrison
- WE NEED MORE TITS AND ASS