The Fruit of Grisaia

I have brought you here today to talk about women with severe mental issues. I can already hear you shouting at the screen: But that’s all women, Porn Dude. Well, yes, you are right. All women are fundamentally out of their goddamn minds, but not all women have a good reason to be fucked in the head. Today, we’re talking about chicks who have actual problems in life, other than not being able to pick out the perfect outfit for the day. Let’s talk about crazy chicks who are trying their best not to off themselves.

The Fruit of Grisaia is a very well written visual novel adventure through hours and hours of lighthearted interactions between your main boy, Yuji and five gorgeous babes of legal banging age. They’re also all severely disturbed individuals, in one way or another. The one that keeps threatening to cut you is actually the most mentally sound. Imagine that. Anyways, this is a game about dating crazy chicks. It’s also the beginning of an entire series of games. There are six of them in total and they’re all worth playing. There are two sequels and three side stories. They’re all interconnected so if you like this game, check them out. They’re also made by the same studio, as far as I can tell.

I have a lot of praise and a lot of complaints reserved for The Fruit of Grisaia and I’ll be going through them all one by one. This is a great game, to be sure. I’m just a bit concerned about it not really belonging on this website. Don’t get me wrong. You do indeed get the opportunity to stick your cock inside a woman’s vagina in this game. Several times over. So, technically, I have to review it. A porn game’s a porn game. But, I still have a bad taste in my mouth after all the time I spent reviewing this game. Let’s get into the details.

<h3>Not Like the Others</h3>

You’ll notice a common thread among most of my hentai visual novel reviews. I always gripe about how they’re all exactly the fucking same. You play as a random nobody idiot virgin and all the girls want your cock. Well, The Fruit of Grisaia is better in that it’s almost identical. You play as a cool hitman dude with a military background and all the girls want your cock. See? It’s different. You’re not a loser in this one.

That being said, you are bored of life. You don’t want to be a hitman anymore. So, naturally, you join an academy full of emotionally scarred women that you can bone. Honestly, being a hitman sounds like a lot less work, but who am I to judge? I eat pussy for breakfast. There’s so much to unpack here and I’m not even going to get into it. Japanese writing will never make sense to me. How is a 17-year-old a well-established hitman who is already old enough to retire? How the fuck did he manage to just quit overnight and join an academy? Who is writing these stories? Find out the answer to all of these questions and more on the next episode of Dragonball Fuck Me.

<h3>Actual Good Writing</h3>

The main difference between this visual novel and other similar titles from other studios is how they write the character dialogues. None of the babes made me annoyed or upset. Usually, chicks in these kinds of games just drone on and fucking on about their problems and they have no real discernable personality. They fall into stereotypes like that fucking tsundere trope. You weebs know what I’m talking about. Well, there is a tsundere in this game, but she’s a fake tsundere. It turns out, she’s just pretending. Why? Well, that’s for you to figure out. It’s part of the mystery. These girls all have some sort of well-written backstory that’s full of details that led to them being the way that they are today. It’s not paper-thin character writing. They were planned right from the start.

That’s probably that makes the game worth playing. You want to uncover their mysteries. That’s what’s dragging you forward. Now hold up, because we’ve run into a bit of a problem. If your main motivation in a porn game is to find out why a chick is acting bonkers, then it’s not a porn game, is it? The whole point of porn games is that they make you hard, keep you hard and get you off. Well, this game has the sex scenes that can get you off, technically, but everything in between is as dry as gunpowder. The story starts off kind of cheerful, giving a slice of life vibe. Then, several hours later, it gets dramatic. Several hours after that, you see pussy. You heard that right.

<h3>Not Enough Pussy</h3>

This game reminds me of those gas station sandwiches that say that they’ve got ham and cheese, but really they just put a bit of that shit on the surface, so the sandwich looks packed. The slices of bread are fucking empty. You bite into the damn thing expecting to get some sweet ass ham and cheese and all you get is sadness and buyer’s remorse. I don’t care that they only cost a dollar. I could have spent that money on indie porn games, damn it.

Well, this metaphor works just fine. This game is a pussy sandwich with only a sprinkling of pussy. The rest of it is all bread; I mean dialogue. It’s great dialogue, for sure. But, that’s not why I play porn games. I know that this is all too common in hentai visual novels, so maybe I’m the one who’s getting old here. I don’t know; I just think that adult games should have fucking and sucking in them. More than once every few hours, I mean. This isn’t my idea of a good time.

That being said, all the people that played it on Steam have either left a positive review or an overwhelmingly positive one. They love this game. If it were a person, they’d adopt it and then fuck it to death. I don’t understand the obsession with games that have you reading for hours on end. I’d get it if it was animated 3D with actual interactions, but for the most part, you’re just sitting there staring at blocks of text.

<h3>Drones on and On</h3>

There are tons of fun scenes in this game that were ripped straight out of bible of badass, but they’re few and far in between. Most of the game has you watching a girl against a backdrop, wearing all of her clothes and talking about things you don’t give a shit about. This isn’t helped by the fact that your protagonist, who might I remind you is a hitman, keeps fucking asking them leading questions. So, they have no incentive to shut the fuck up.

The game has multiple endings with a branching storyline. That’s code for: You pick one of the five babes to be your endgame waifu. That’s all well and good, but the part that comes before the actual branch lasts many hours that you have to sit through time and time again. I couldn’t do it once. I skipped through damn near the whole thing. I mean, I know the writing is good and all, but life is way too short.

<h3>Censored and Uncensored</h3>

The Steam version of the game has been neutered to hell and back. They didn’t just censor it, nah, that would have been fine. They straight up removed all of the sex scenes and the adult language on top of that. And this game is still marked as adult-only on Steam. I have no idea what those people are smoking, but they need to stop. Seriously. Neutering a game is one thing, but discouraging people from playing it is just insulting.

You should buy the regular version literally anywhere else you can get your hands on it. Find a third-party marketplace. Whatever works. Check the original publisher’s website. It was down the last time I checked, but they might have fixed it by now. Either way, do not get the Steam version. It’s fucking pointless. Even if you only want to play this game for the story, the sex scenes won’t exactly get in your way. They’re woven into the story. Play the original.