Summoner’s Quest

From the mind of porn game legend Ferdafs comes Summoner’s Quest, a game series that originally propelled him to glory. These days he’s a lot more popular for his Rick and Morty: A Way Back Home game, which has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that people will pay any amount of money for proper cartoon porn parodies. But, we’re not talking about the recent killer in this review. We’re talking about the original legendary Fedafs games that everyone’s played at some point. I don’t know if you guys even knew that these were part of a series. It’s easy to get through one Summoner’s Quest game being grateful for the smut you’ve enjoyed and assuming it’s the only one, but that’s not the case. Ferdafs was a really busy bee when it came to this series, and there are a ton of them.

A Great Start

The very first chapter in this series came out almost six years ago, and it won the hearts and minds of tens of thousands of Newgrounds visitors. It became clear that there was a huge demand for Ferdafs’s work. It’s no surprise. The League of Legends babes have been on my to-fuck list for a very long time. It’s just unfortunate that they’re not real. Most of them are very fuckable. Even the ones that are super short fantasy squirrel people are fuckable for some reason. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but the yordles, as they’re called, have furry and utterly not-sexy males, but the female yordles all have smooth skin and cum-worthy tits. I wonder why that is, cough cough.

So the chapter starts out with you at a party for summoners where Sona, the large breasted and mute musician, is providing the entertainment. A few dialogue clicks away, and you basically get to strip and bang her in very well animated sex scenes that leave little to the imagination. This is the kind of action I can get behind. You see, in real life, when I roll up to the scene at a large party, I’m balls deep inside the hottest chick by the time they serve the hors d'oeuvres.

Some Creative Liberties

My first criticism against Summoner’s Quest and quite possibly the only thing I didn’t like is that right from the start, they took the perfect woman and utterly ruined her. You see, Sona can’t actually talk. She’s mute. She uses some sort of music magic to get her point across. Now, I know that the summoner can actually hear her thoughts or whatever, and that’s why she has voice lines in the game, but it would have been much hotter if they played around that somehow and had her stay mute.

I know the writing is technically lore-friendly, since she is projecting her kinks straight into your mind, but my god, you take the one woman who actually has an excuse not to talk, ever, and you give her dialogue. I don’t know; it just seems like a poor choice to me. Luckily, this game series lets you stick your dick in her, so she doesn’t keep talking for long. Remember, a woman’s mouth is for dick and pleasure moans. Talking about your feelings is pointless.

The Episodes Get Hotter

With every installment in the series, Ferdafs’s art gets better and better, and so do the stories. He keeps adding new champions from the series, and eventually, you’ve gone through half the goddamn compendium. There are some male champions thrown in there for lore reasons, but they don’t actually bang. Plus, the first male champion I saw was Taric, and he’s practically a girl in men’s clothes as far as the community’s concerned, so you can’t really complain that they’re fucking up the balance.

With every episode, the smut gets hotter, and the holes get tighter, literally. I mean, the second episode has you fucking Poppy, for fuck’s sake. I’ve played League of Legends before, and it never dawned on me that Poppy could even take a human-sized cock, but here we are. I don’t know; maybe I’m not perverted enough. I always spent most of my time during the loading screens staring at the actual tits that are all over the fucking place. I mean, what the hell were they thinking when they designed Ahri. That’s not a body made for combat. That’s a body made for repopulating a small country.

As an added bonus to all of you Ahri fans out there, look up Ahri’s Korean voice lines. Go ahead, do it right now. I’ll wait. You won’t regret it. Apparently they sounded like that in English too, but they had to be re-recorded. Why? Because they were deemed too inappropriate for a video game that children play. Meanwhile, South Korea was like, nah, fuck that. Leave the sex noises in the game. Who cares. She’s made for breeding anyways.

Mini-Games

Summoner’s Quest has a bit of added fun thrown in the mix to get you to feel like you've actually earned your smut, rather than just being served a cutscene. I guess that’s what makes the difference between a video and a game. Personally, I’m not very sold on this concept, but I guess if the community loves it, then it counts as gameplay.

When you’re romancing Sona, for instance, you have to play a game of Simon says. For those of you who aren’t actual boomers, the original 1978 Simon says had you tap four colored buttons in a random sequence that the toy generated for you. So that’s what you need to do to get Sona to take her clothes off. A few red, blue, green beep bop boops, and she’s ready to take the cock. I kind of wish real women came with 4 controls.

Patreon Power

Ferdafs technically works for free. He makes free games and posts them on Newgrounds for everyone to enjoy. The Rick and Morty masterpiece he’s currently working on is free for download as well. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve some recompense for the hard work he does. I mean, these stories have had me jacking it six ways to Sunday for years. They’re legendary. Plus, they encourage other up and coming artists to try their luck on Newgrounds and Patreon.

That’s why I think that if you like what he’s putting out, you should drop him a shekel or two, because he genuinely deserves it.

Kid Friendly

Apparently, Ferdafs is one of those crazy motherfuckers who believes that children deserve to have fun too. I’m being sarcastic, of course. I have nothing against children playing League of Legends and having a good time. As it turns out, his games come in kid-friendly versions. Well, I say kid-friendly, but they basically have 13+ renditions that don’t feature the smut. I don’t know why anyone would play these games without the smut scenes, but they’re up there as a choice, I guess. Maybe if you want to try his games while you’re at work, you might get some use out of a 13+ version. Who knows. They’re as free as the 18+ versions, so it’s just extra content thrown in for the hell of it.

This is the game you want to be playing if you’re a diehard League of Legends player, and you hate the fact that the game offers you no chance to fuck some of the hottest bitches ever brought to the video gaming scene. Ferdafs has you covered with some of the hottest bitches, including Ashe, Lissandra, Sona, Nami, Jinx, and even Poppy for some fucking reason that no-one’s ever going to be able to explain. If you ever wanted to stick your dick in a pint-sized woman with large cans, here’s Poppy for you.

Ferdafs even managed to cash in on the inside joke of Ezreal being very dainty. First, it was popular to ship Ezreal and Lux as being a perfect couple because they’re both so tiny, and they both like to squeal in a high pitched voice. Then, the meme shifted, and people started shipping Ezreal and Taric as a bottom-top gay couple. Finally, the community completely changed their minds and decided that Ezreal was basically a fap-worthy girl, for some fucking reason, and they started drawing him with tits on.

That’s what you get in episode 7.5 of Summoner’s Quest. A girl Ezreal. Oh, you don’t think that’s weird enough? Don’t you worry. There’s an alternate version of the exact same episode where Ezreal is a futa. That’s right; they made him a girl, then added a dick, so now he’s a girl with a penis. League of Legends fans confuse the hell out of me, but as long as they’re fapping, I’m happy. You know I’m all about encouraging fapping.