My Cute Roommate

Once in a while, I get to review a porn game that’s so relaxing and easy to play that it puts me in a great mood. That’s what we got on the table today. My Cute Roommate is the kind of chill experience that you can just jump right into without thinking: no muss, no fuss, just quality gameplay with some artist’s amazing inspired 3D models.

Western 3D Tits Rule

I wish they would invent a new word for this particular style of western 3D porn. I need to refer to it so often that I feel kind of silly calling it: “That style with the hyper-realistic skin”. But that is roughly what we’re talking about. The exact opposite of hentai inspired 3D renders where the chicks look like they’re made of plastic.

In this style, they kind of look like they’re made of rubber, but it’s all much closer to how humans actually look in real life. To counteract the realism, the tits in this art style are usually enormous and covered in gallons of cum. I’m not saying that this is my favorite art style, but my god, it’s a hell of a contender.

The first actual porn game that I ever played that featured this style was Lust Epidemic, and that game won my heart. Now, we’re looking at My Cute Roommate, which is significantly shorter and simpler, but comes with a ton of content to keep you entertained. Without further ado, let’s jump right into it.

Simple Conversations

The brunt of the game consists of you choosing what to say to other people, mostly women, usually really hot ones. Like, at the start of the game, you’re introduced to Cumslut, your roommate. You get told that your character grew up with this bitch and that she used to be very fat and ugly. Now, she’s drop-dead gorgeous. Naturally, you get the option to say something sensible, like hello, or ask her if she would like her holes plugged.

Suffice it to say, not all of these conversation options end well for you. In fact, you can pretty much dead-end yourself if you make a few wrong calls. Personally, I played it nice, like a real gentleman. We had a friendly chat; I waited for her to go to sleep, and then I snuck into her room and pulled her panties down. That’s my idea of playing the romantic, but she wasn’t having any of it. She jolted out of bed, called me a rapist, and called the police. Then, the game ended. I don’t know what her problem was; I just wanted to inspect the inside of her panties for bed bugs. Those things can really fuck you up if they get in all the wrong places. But, she didn’t want to listen to reason, and so Cumslut remained eternally not covered in cum.

At this point, I should probably note that her parents did not, in fact, name her Cumslut, that was my decision. The game lets you name yourself and the roommate, for extra immersion. If you want to be a fucking weirdo, you can name her after your ex, mother, or pet. I just went with Cumslut, because that’s what I call women that I usually have a good time with. I like to keep it real.

Even Simpler Actions

To augment this amazing gameplay, they also let you choose what your character does and where he goes. This is done with a combination of an open world map in which you explore locations at your own pace, though some of them are inaccessible at first. I really like how this game lets me go down to the local university and ask about enrollment or ask the large breasted secretary if she’d like to get her holes plugged. I’m experiencing a big of deja-vu here.

Generally, you’re gonna have a great time if you don’t jump right into the fucking, unless you’re sure the girl on the other end is down with that kind of speed. Personally, I’ve always found women to be a bit pointlessly time-wasting. I mean, I’m hot, you’re hot, let’s bang, what’s the problem? But alas, not even the porn game world seems to be up to my levels of wisdom. I had to actually suffer through some imaginary conversations, before I got to see what these girls were hiding in their panties.

There’s Combat!

If you manage to piss the right person off, they’ll fight you. Usually, these are dudes, and you get options that let you punch, block, or whatever, to move the combat along. I tried this out, accidentally, got decked in the face, and the game decided that I now had a headache. Instead of letting pop a painkiller and get on with the pussy patrolling, I had to drop for a little while and sleep it off.

The game actually pushes you to make that decision yourself. There’s no cutscene; you literally can’t leave the house until you rest. I like this much better than if the game were to just tell me what happened in retrospect. I love feeling like I’m in control. It makes the game immersive as fuck.

Hot as Fuck

I mentioned that I absolutely adore this art style. It’s so fucking easy to fap to. It leaves nothing to the imagination. I mean, you see your roommate’s gigantic, whatever the fuck size they are bazongas, flopping in the wind, waiting to be cum on, right from the get-go. And no, the game doesn’t actually have proper animation, everything is in slide-show mode, but my god do I not give a shit about that.

I’d rather have extremely high-quality fap-worthy content, than an animated shit show that I have to endure in pain. I just want to polish my flagpole, and this game gives me extremely high quality and high resolution renders that just keep coming. Every single time you do damn near anything in this game, you get a new image of what’s going on. It’s not like the story is conveyed through text.

Oh, and speaking of, the story is short and sweet. They don’t dick you around with exposition. You’re not reading a book here. Everything flows quickly, and your choices are very short. There are many choices, but they’re all straightforward. You either try to bang a bitch, or you don’t. That’s the kind of Russian roulette I like. And, if you spin the barrel too hard and get shot in the face, the game ends. But, you start it back up again, and it offers you the chance to just skip back to the point where you fucked yourself.

You don’t have to replay everything at normal speed, because you ended up in a rut the first time around. I like this. It shows me that the developer respects my time and the fact that I’m here to fap. I don’t want to reread a bunch of small talk that I already went through. There’s no point in that. I want to unlock shit that I haven’t seen.

Patreon to The Rescue

This is one of those high-quality indie games made by one guy that put most game development studios to shame. Forget corporate backing and large teams, real smut comes from the soul, and this guy’s soul is full of gigantic titties. If you’d like to show your appreciation for his hard work, make sure to check out his Patreon and maybe drop him a shekel or two. He goes by Astaros3D, and he’s currently working on his next amazing porn game titled Girl House. I suspect that one will have girls and dwellings.

He’s got three tiers, each of which comes with rewards, but keep in mind that the finished products will always be free, so you shouldn’t feel guilty if you can’t afford to back him right now. Either way, the lowest tier is $1 a month, so why not throw some coins his way?

Hard Recommend

The best porn games are the ones that don’t require any tutorial, and you can jump into the action straight away. That’s what you get with My Cute Roommate. The action is all over the place, and even when you’re not fucking, you’re staring at hot bitches with extreme curves.

I only wish that other porn games were this giving. I would recommend that you download this game right away, because you straight up have no reason not to. It should work great, no matter what PC you run it on, since it doesn’t render anything on the fly. And, you should also definitely check out Girl House if you enjoyed this game. Happy Fapping!