Funbag Fantasy

Breasts have been a part of the butts, boobs, pussy trifecta since the very first boner was discovered back in the early days of the stone age. Human beings have been appreciating breasts and immortalizing their various shapes and sizes in artworks from day one. So why is it that when I went to the museum of natural history and checked out the ancient breast exhibits, I got kicked out for popping a boner? Is it because I was also watching boob-centric hentai on my phone? Well, excuse me, I thought this was a place of culture. But alas, some people have no respect for the art or for passionate consumers. That’s exactly why I keep my hentai on my private computer and only watch it at night, away from the gaze of would-be naysayers.

All About the Breasts

I’ve seen a lot of breasts in porn games, especially in hentai games. No-one draws a mean pair of milkers like the Japanese do. But, they’re always sort of balanced with the butts. And, if the game is particularly romantic, the faces matter too, apparently. Well, you get none of that nonsense in Funbag Fantasy. This is a game that isn’t ashamed to say that the breasts are the best part of the woman. I don’t personally agree. I’ve found that butts are tighter and generally more useful, but to each his own.

I am definitely not going to throw shade on people who appreciate a nice pair of milkers. I myself have fucked many pairs, and I have to agree that the bigger they are, the more fun you have. Hell, chicks with bigger breasts are usually more fun to party with too. So you can imagine my excitement at finding a proper full-fledged hentai game that’s loaded with breast worship.

This entire fucking game is like a church built around the concept of female breasts. Plus, it’s not like they made all the breasts the exact same gigantic size. Nah. You get all the gigantic sizes. It’s like having a spectrum of large breasts in varying sizes from C cups to I cups. Yes, as in “I am going to fuck those breasts”. That’s how big they get. I’d love to live in a world where the smallest breasts out there are C cups, and the average breast size is somewhere around a G. I’m getting hard just thinking about it.

There’s a Story

I should be nice and just talk about the story to this game, because the developers did a really fine job fleshing out an entire universe of well-written characters and situations, but fuck me, I can’t. It’s so hard to focus when 90% of the time, there are giant breasts on the screen. Sure, they’re talking to me, the chicks, not the breasts I mean. But, it’s hard to listen to a word they’re saying, because I’m constantly thinking about when and where the top is gonna come off, and I’ll get to see those gigantic milkers.

All right, let me just refresh my memory on the story for a second. So, apparently, this is a fantasy visual novel that takes place in a Japanese styled medieval setting. In other words, it’s Europe, but without plagues. There’s castles, princesses, knights; you name it. You’ll also notice that everything is ridiculously clean. This universe either has the most responsible stable-hands in history, or horses flat out don’t shit. Maybe the Japanese don’t have experience with horses; I don’t know. I’m not good at geography.

The Playable Character

You play as a random knight-bro. In true hentai game fashion, he is an average guy with no discernible characteristics. He’s basically a cardboard cutout, a self-insert protagonist for you to identify with easily. I honestly didn’t mind the fact that he was the only character in the entire game, not to get a voice-over. It does help with the immersion. Plus, he says some funny ass shit to himself that I really wouldn’t want to hear said out loud. Like, the first time he meets the gigantic breasted princess character, he flat out goes out of his way to explain to himself that they look like pumpkins that put melons to shame. Did you really need this distinction? No, not really. The massive tits on screen are pretty self-explanatory. Still, he loves to narrate the shit out of what he’s seeing, especially if he’s seeing breasts.

The quirky comments make him a bit more likable than your average porn game dude-bro. At the very least, he’s not annoying or sleazy. I mean, he is trying his hardest to fuck every wench this side of the castle walls, but so are you, so you’re very much on the same page there.

The general idea is that he’s graduated from knight school or whatever the hell they call it, and he’s trying to find a place for himself in this fantastical world. One way or another, fate always leads him to a new set of giant breasts, each with their own personalities and preferences. On the surface, most of them seem kind of stand-offish with a few exceptions here and there, but in true hentai fashion, they’re all cock-hungry whores beneath the surface. You just have to find out what makes them tick.

Flavors of Breast

There’s one demon chick in this game who is sort of your companion, depending on how you play the game. You can romance her exclusively if you want to, but it’s your choice. Also, not that it matters, but most members of her race were murdered a long time ago. She’s somewhat of an oddity in this world. Demons don’t go flopping their breasts around up and down the streets as a casual everyday thing.

As for the rest of the bitches, they’re very much human, and they come with varying degrees of bullshit. Some of them just want some respect and that I can very much get behind. Knowing what you want is never a problem. Then there are the ones who want to be coddled with ridiculous amounts of attention and praise. That kind of shit is not my cup of tea. Either way, most of the bitches in this game are bangable, so have at it. It’s your choice.

Choices, Choices

There are two styles of choices you can make in this game, and beyond those two, the entire goddamn thing plays like a movie. The first choice is the sort of standard branching path shill that lets you decide which girl you want to spend the most time on. The general idea is that you can choose which girls to prioritize and that gives you a certain ending if you push through with it. You can’t perfectly romance all the pairs of tits in this game in one playthrough. You have to play favorites.

Then there’s the sexy choices, and this is the core gameplay as far as I’m concerned. So get this. They made a game that’s all about breasts, but they let you fuck the girls in their asses and pussies as well. Isn’t that just the hottest shit you’ve ever heard? Yes, most of the scenes center around the breasts, and yes, a majority of the drawn content is boob-centric, but you still get to have anal and vaginal, and that’s what matters most to me. I like to have a choice. It feels liberating; you know what I mean?

Graphics, Steam and Pricing

I sort of left the least important shit for last, but I gotta cover this. First of all, this game’s available on Steam, and it’s one of the most expensive hentai games they’ve got. This thing costs $45. Yes, you read that number right. This game costs almost as much as an actual triple-A production. So does the price hold up? Well, sort of. I mean, you do get hours’ worth of enjoyment. Hell, a lot of the people on the store page have over a hundred hours in this game. That’s certainly worth the price tag. But the real question is, are you willing to put in the time necessary to unlock 100% of this game? That’s up to you.

In terms of quality, the price is definitely on point. Every single frame of this game was handcrafted to perfection. In between the amazing tits and the gorgeous backdrops, it feels like you’re watching the highest quality hentai of your life. Plus, don’t forget that the entirety of the game has voice overs. Yes, they’re in Japanese with English subtitles, but that’s how weebs prefer their hentai as far as I know.

This game is certainly trying to push the limits of what hentai games are capable of. Personally, I just wish there was more to do in terms of gameplay. Most of what you do in this game is just click your mouse on the screen, so the story progresses to the next dialogue. But, there’s always titties waiting for you at the end, so I guess it must be worth it.