ULMF
Uulmf.orgWe’ve got a bizarre website on our hands today. I know I say that a lot, but normally I talk about the content of the site. The content tends to weird me out. Like, when I review furry forums, naturally, that makes my back hair stand out. This forum’s content is not particularly weird. It’s niche, but it’s just a smut forum where people hang out and have fun. They chat about random shit that they care about and exchange smut. So, what’s weird about this site? The origin story.
You might have noticed that the name to this forum makes absolutely no sense, what so ever. It’s actually an acronym for Unofficial LineMarvel Forum. So what’s a LineMarvel, and why does it need a forum. Well, here’s where the story gets weird as fuck. LineMarvel is a random dude who happened to make a tiny Flash Game called Jungle Girl, back in 2005, right before this forum was created by his fans. Apparently, the game blew them all away so hard that they figured they should build an online shrine to this guy’s talents. Now, I’m not saying he’s not talented, but can you imagine if every single porn game developer had his own forum for no particular reason? Can you imagine if said forums were all super active? It would be a clusterfuck. Either way, the forum’s here, it’s active, it’s fun, and I’m gonna review the hell out of it.
Some More History
It all started with Jungle Girl. In that game, you moved left to right, controlling a naked girl in a jungle. She had no backstory, no explanation, and no motivation other than to move to the right. You could only input one of three commands. You could duck, move out of the way, and push forward. Depending on the types of enemies that would come at you, you would need to input the right command to either get yourself or them out of the way. All the enemies were tentacles of some kind, so if you missed the right command, they’d fuck you. Some of them cum in your mouth; others fuck your pussy. You get it, it’s one of those games in which you avoid rape, in order to get to the big rape at the end of the game. Pretty straightforward.
Well, this game became ridiculously popular on Newgrounds when it first came out, mostly because there were no similar games back then. Today, simple porn Flash games are unavoidable. Back then, you became a superstar with an afternoon’s worth of work. Plus, the average porn game back then was a Japanese visual novel, since the Japs have been making those since before the invention of sliced bread. It’s as if their entire culture has been leading up to making pornographic visual novels, for thousands of years.
LineMarvel and Smut Games
So, the dudes and gals that worship LineMarvel made ULMF so they could hang out and praise him and also beg him to make more games. Their plan worked out quite well, as he was quickly encouraged to make yet another left-to-right walking game, that came with no more quality than the first one. Both of these looked like dogshit and ran like an out of control train on a very short track. But, the people had spoken, and the forum had grown. It was almost a religious relationship that they had with this guy, as they were also begging him to post more of his art and his general ideas about porn games.
That aside, the forum also has a bunch of threads and sections for various types of porn, including hentai games, which is a great section where you can find a ton of really interesting stuff. It’s all kind of underground and random, since it’s driven largely by the passions of a bunch of really active perverts with the same taste in games. It’s not a place for everyone, and it’s definitely not unbiased. These are their favorites; you’re just privy to see them.
Becoming a ULMF Fan
You’re always encouraged to join this here forum; it’s not a closed club. They don’t charge you, and they’re pretty welcoming of new faces. But, they’ve grown considerably over the past 15 years, so expect your voice to get a bit drowned out if you see this place as a clubhouse. They’ve got over 200 thousand members in this bad boy, with over 10 thousand threads. That’s a lot of content. Still, if you want to join a place that has a strong tinge of the times of old, and you’re feeling nostalgic, you’ll have a lot more fun here than say, a general porn forum. The reason for this is that ULMF is not a porn forum; it’s a fun forum that happens to be stuffed full of porn.
Joining is completely free, so you’re very much encouraged to make an account if you enjoy the type of shit these people like to discuss. The original sections are probably the ones you’re going to stay away from unless you’re in an archeological mood. If you want to dig up the past and see what this site was about back in the day, then head to the LineMarvel section. This is where people gather to verbally suck this guy off and ask about his projects. They go really far with the idolization; I really don’t get it. There are other, more sensible sections, though, like the Hentai section, which is their biggest one. Then, there’s the everything else section, which is like a random board. You can post whatever the fuck you want there. Then, finally, the blank page, which is a section where people post their own creation. This is mostly a place for you to submit your sexy artworks and have other people rate them and jack off to them.
The Hentai Section
This is a very broad and interesting hentai section, compared to others I’ve seen on more mainstream forums. It’s not just a list of games with download links. There’s a ton of discussion here. Firstly, you’ve got the tech help and recommendations section, where the newbies come to learn from the legends about the best porn games and how to run them. Then, there’s a dedicated Mugen discussion, which, if you don’t know, is a game engine that emulates the Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter styles of old. It’s a sideways 2 person fighting game which is made in such a way that you can make your own characters and insert them into the game. So, if you’re looking for new characters or instructions on how to make Mugen more fun, this is the place you want to be.
Moving on, we’ve got the MnF section, which is a tribute within a tribute, except this one’s all about the actual Meet and Fuck Games website. I guess they figured they’d need a section for the fans of that website, on this website, in order for them to discuss and share their favorite MnF games and talk about their favorite titles. It’s such a bizarre thing to see one particular website tributed on another in this way, but nothing about ULMF makes sense anyways.
Forum Games
This is an entire section of countless threads that I’ve kind of seen on other forums, but not with this much activity and diversity. It’s basically a role-playing meta-game on the actual forum. You play games by talking to the other people on the forum. So, let’s say that someone starts out an interactive story with a short post in a new thread. If you want to join in on the fun, you write your own continuation of the story. Then, someone else adds to your version, and eventually, this spells out an entire long story, written by a bunch of different people.
They also have slightly more hands-on games with some DnD elements. Same as above, but the original poster will also add a map indicating where the main character is located. Further posters will move the character through the map, and the original poster will have to tell them what the character found in that room. They can then decide how to proceed. It’s basically online DnD condensed into a forum. This place is bonkers, since I’ve never seen this much pure and unbridled fun on a porn forum before. It’s not just about jacking off; it’s also about straight up making friends. It’s the most wholesome forum I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I didn’t even know that a bunch of perverts could be this wholesome when they’re discussing smut, but my eyes are now open to the truth.
PornGames likes ULMF
- Very wholesome community
- Tons of fun content
- Role-playing forum games
PornGames hates ULMF
- A bit hard to get into
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