A Zombie's Life

I happen to know that as far as game tributes and mods go, zombies are the number one fan favorite. For some reason, every game that supports mods in any way, eventually gets zombies, even if it has nothing to do with the apocalypse. Hell, I’ve seen zombie mods for train simulators. That’s how I knew that the world of gaming had gone zombie crazy. And the world of porn usually mimics the world of vanilla gaming. We basically see the exact same games in both universes, but in our world, there’s also smut, and the chicks usually have larger tits.

That’s why I found it super surprising to see that we have damn near no zombie survival games in the porn world. I don’t understand why that is. It’s not like zombies are any less sexy than the other shit I’ve been reviewing. I mean, you’ve got porn games in which you can romance your family, your friends, demons from other dimensions, and even worm creatures from space. So, why do zombies get left out? Well, developer Nergal seems to have asked himself this very question all those years ago, as he took it upon himself to developer A Zombie’s Life. This right here is a proper zombie survival game that centers entirely around you trying to fuck your mother, sister, and aunt.

Zombies and Family Ties

Why did it also have to be an incest game? I don’t fucking know. As if zombies weren’t enough of a wild spin, you also get a ton of “family-friendly” fucking in this game. My policy on incest games has always remained the same – it’s not my thing, but fap away you freak. I’m not going to judge you. I’m just casually going to call you names in my reviews, because it’s funny. But I’m not gonna rag on any developer’s game. Making a porn game is serious business, and it takes a lot of time and effort, so more power to these developers.

The basic premise of this game is that zombies have taken over the world, but the virus that turned them only seems to be targeting older men. This is the kind of mental gymnastics you need in porn games in order to explain why your character is the only fuckable man within a 10-mile radius. You’re stranded with your female family members, and you’ve got to make it out of the apocalypse. Along the way, you also have to deal with the fact that these girls are getting horny. You’re basically playing hard to get at this point, because they need man meat in their snatch almost as much as the zombies need man-meat in their mouths—what a world.

Porn Universe Rules

In any porn universe, whether it’s a game or a movie, you’re going to see some unique rules that serve to push the story towards sexy vibes. In a standard zombie flick, the zombies are a menace, and the main characters are just trying to survive. In this game, sex is an ever-present danger, even though nothing bad could possibly happen to you if you did decide to have sex.

So, the rules are as follows. The virus only targets older men; your character is a younger man, so he’s in the clear, and when zombies attack girls, something extraordinary happens. If a zombie manages to kill one of your family members, the game ends. That’s your losing condition. But, the zombies don’t just kill your girls when they touch them, that wouldn’t be sexy. No, instead, they lose some of their clothing. I don’t mean they undress; I mean their clothes straight up get ripped to shreds. This messed with my head a little bit, because on the one hand, I want these bitches to strip. They’re hot, and I want to see them naked. On the other hand, I don’t want to lose the game. That way, I wouldn’t be able to fuck them.

Incest Porn for Regular Folks

This game is aimed at two kinds of people, incest fans and porn game fans. And, you could probably throw zombie game fans in there, I guess, as a sort of cross-reference. My point is, you don’t have to be into mommy-son porn in order to enjoy this game. My go-to is usually just pretending that this is someone else’s mom, and it’s my job to get balls deep inside her as soon as possible. I have no reservations about fucking other people’s moms, especially when they’re this hot.

As for the sister and the aunt, well, it’s the same story. Besides, if the playable character is attracted to them, chances are he doesn’t really perceive them as family members. The whole goddamn point of family members is that you don’t want to bang them, among other things. I guess the other point is that they ask you for money and you have to give it to them, because blood is thicker than water or some shit. Either way, if this kid wants to bang his mother, sister and aunt, chances are, he doesn’t see them as family members, and neither should you. Try to get as many fucks in there as possible before the apocalypse destroys you all.

The Gameplay

Full disclosure, I haven’t really finished this game. It’s a long-ass game, don’t judge me. Either way, I think I’ve played enough of it to recommend it to you. It’s a standard top-down RPG, with a lot of non-standard interaction. They basically removed all of the boring elements of RPGs that I personally hate. I played it for a few hours and did not run into a single combat scenario. That’s awesome. Why the fuck would I want to fight zombies in a video game where all the zombies are male? It’s not like a sex scene would make it better. They’re all dudes.

I also didn’t see any party optimization or similar nerd vibes. The gameplay was more reminiscent of recent titles like Lust Epidemic in which you sort of roam around getting shit done. There’s no fighting or real thinking to be done. It’s more about the exploration. Now, in this game, you also have the added bonus of zombies roaming around trying to eat your brains. That’s a great motivator. But, you don’t have to fight them. Instead, you just avoid them. If you’re alone, touching a zombie kills you. If you’ve got a chick with you, touching a zombie makes her more naked. Talk about a great game, am I right?

The Story

It’s your standard horror movie writing. Zombies never made any scientific sense, and they never will. That’s why it’s better not to think about it. I mean, why the hell do they only convert men? Why don’t they go after younger dudes? Why are women exempt? You would think that these are standard porn game excuses, but it’s not like zombies make more sense in non-pornographic movies. They’re dead flesh. How the fuck are they running around? Hell, I’m a virile, healthy male with amazing muscles, and I can’t run more than a few miles without getting winded. These things supposedly sprint for tens of miles at a time without so much as breaking a sweat. They can’t break a sweat. They don’t even drink water.

I kind of got sidetracked there. Anyways, the story is straightforward. You’re the man of the proverbial house now. You’re trying to keep your family members safe and fetch supplies so that they don’t die of starvation and what have you. You can talk to any of your girls and ask her to accompany you at any time. You can then take her out into the city, choosing where you want to go, and you guys scavenge the building manually. You walk around, look for supplies, pick them up, and haul them home.

Over time, this also lets you get inside their pants, bit by bit, as they slowly warm up to the idea of fucking you. Eventually, they can’t keep their hands off you. It gets to the point where you literally can’t figure out which one you want to fuck first, because they’re all so horny. It’s a quality porn game story as far as I’m concerned, because it doesn’t waste much of your time and the gameplay doesn’t get in the way. It all flows very smoothly.

The developers of this game have compared it to “This War of Mine”, which might be a bit too much praise, but I get what they meant. It’s the kind of zombie survival game that you can replay, because there’s randomly generated loot, and you want to see how long you can hold out. Combine that with all the hot smut scenes in between, and you’ve got yourself a great recipe for some frequent smutty fun.