WetPussyGames

Wet Pussy Games! Once in a while, I get to review a website from my childhood, and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Then I whip my 20-inch cock out and jack off to that warm feeling. It’s nice to reminisce about a time when my dick was only mildly terrifying as opposed to the absolute jackhammer it is now. But I digress. This review is not about my dick. This review is about one of the oldest and purest smut game websites on the internet. WetPussyGames has gotten my dick wet for over a decade, and I owe them for a lot of shot loads.

An Ancient Classic

Back in the olden days of the internet, every single porn game or Flash animation site was a godsend. There weren’t a lot of them to go around. Finding a website that actually brought you a ton of free content without dicking you around or redirecting you to other sites was an absolute miracle. These days you have me to aggregate all these sites for you, but back then, we pretty much had to bookmark a site like this and even write it down on a post-it note, just in case our computers caught fire.

I remember the first time I found WetPussyGames; I spread it around my group of friends back then. I wanted them to see the absolute gem for themselves, and they appreciated me for it. Even back then, I had the makings of a legendary porn reviewer, and I felt it in my bones. I felt like it was my sacred duty to document the hottest of the hot in porn, and when it came to innocent little fap-worthy Flash games, WetPussyGames were my go-to.

In those days, a good porn flash game was like a shiny Pokémon. There were tons of sites, but most of them were shit, and they were just trying to turn a profit. They didn’t really give a shit about the quality of the games. Then, WetPussyGames rolled up on the scene and changed the lives of young masturbators everywhere. It’s the kind of site that’s run by either one guy or a small team; I’m not sure. And whoever it is, they work really hard to find the best free content they can.

A One-Stop Shop for Smut

Now, they’re not technically a game site, although I’m going to focus on the games more than anything else for this review. They pretty much have three types of content. Porn cartoons, hentai porn, and games. The cartoons needed their own section because they were either sexy parodies of popular cartoons or western style Flash animations. They had literally nothing to do with the high-quality hentai of the time, so they needed their own section.

The hentai section is … well, it’s in the name. You get to see some short clips from popular hentai movies. It’s the first place I ever watched Temptation, my all-time favorite hentai movie. They didn’t host the whole damn thing, they had four specific scenes from the movie, but they picked the hottest ones. I am very grateful to them for opening my eyes to the best hentai out there.

As for the games, well, this is where things get interesting. You see, in the mid-2000s, porn games were mostly flash animations that let you click a single button, over and over again to fuck the on-screen girl faster or slower. Eventually, they’d even have a cum button so that you could shoot a very low-resolution load across her very two dimensional tits. It was the spirit of the times, and we jacked our dicks off to this type of content. I’m not complaining. Back then, we would take what we could get, and we loved it.

A Mixed Bag of Games

One of the reasons I loved WetPussyGames from the start is that they have absolutely no chill. I mean, there’s a Flash game on here in which you have to balance two milking machines, to milk your giant breasted boss, so that there’s enough milk to sell along with the cookies you’re peddling. Literally, no chill what so ever. A ton of the games on this site are equally ridiculous. How about a game in which you have to gently stroke a naked bound and gagged girl in a public toilet? Don’t feel bad. She’s clearly lonely and scared. She needs you to sexually molest her until she cums. It’s the only way she’ll ever feel good again.

Do you see where I’m going with this? These games are random as shit. Still, the site’s editor saw it fit to put them on the list, so there must be some sort of pattern here. I mean, they could have just as easily stuffed the site full of millions of shitty flash games, but they didn’t. They carefully chose these specific games for some reason. Browsing this site flat out feels like I’m prying into someone else’s porn collection or something. It’s random as fuck, but you can sort of see a pattern.

To complete the absolute clusterfuck that is the randomness between these games, you’ve got actual hardcore long-form video games that I consider to be the best of the best. They actually got Lust Epidemic on this site. Do you have any idea how impressive that is? Lust Epidemic is one of the hottest most ambitious porn RPG titles out there. It’s got full-motion 3D cutscenes, a huge story, the ability to save and load your game, and more.

This is what I consider triple-A porn gaming, and it blows me away that you’ll find this game on the exact same site right next to a game in which you click a single button until a poorly animated 2D babe from 2005 takes her shirt off. It boggles my mind.

A Lot of Classics

You’re gonna see a shit ton of popular staple cartoon porn on this site, and the same goes for the Flash games. Like for instance, there’s a lot of titles by Zone. If you don’t know who that is, she’s basically one of the first talented animators who took it upon herself to make high-quality cartoon porn parodies. She’s been active since 2005, and her work has pretty much been on WetPussyGames ever since. Obviously, you won’t find all of her work here, but there are quite a lot of Zone’s gems scattered around. The one with Bloo from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends gets me every time. Seeing that little blue wad fuck that red-haired chick gets me every time. It’s equal parts hot and disturbing. I love it.

There’s also a whole lot of Simpsons themed Flash games on this site along with a few Naruto and DragonBall productions. I don’t understand why people are so obsessed with making sexual content featuring these characters, but I’m not going to be the one to tell the world to stop fapping.

You’ll see a ton of hentai games on this site, too, but those are a bit older. It seems they’ve gotten less popular over the years. These are either short animations or RPG games with crappy 2D artwork, but they get you hard regardless, so you’ve got nothing to complain about. On the more modern side of things, there’s a shitton of 3D western-style renders, but from what I’ve seen most of the games on this site are made in Flash. That means that the 3D models have to be pre-rendered, and that means that you don’t get to move them around. You get cutscenes. They’re hot as fuck, but I’d rather actually move the goddamn bitches around and bend them over myself. To each his own, I guess.

If you want to feel like an archeologist for a day and slip on the shoes of a man who used to live in the mid-2000s, then WetPussyGames should be the first place you visit. You’ll get a general feel for how we used to fap back then. Those were brutal times, and we were very desperate for proper porn. We would take it wherever we could find it.

Luckily, WetPussyGames was there all along, with its crisp and straightforward website that always loads quickly and never charges you a single penny. Their library just keeps getting bigger, and they’re showing no signs of decay. I don’t know how a free porn website can stay afloat for all these years and just keep growing without changing a single thing about their design, but here it is. The absolute shiniest gem of old-school fap shenanigans is still standing tall and proud. So go off to WetPussyGames and jack your dick clean off, right now.