Strumpets

From time to time, I find myself counting out a stack of twenties to one of the local crack whores in my neighborhood. Every time, though, I find myself thinking, “I should do this myself.” I don’t mean I want to start sucking dick for drug money; I’m more interested in the whore-management angle. Maybe that’s why I’ve been hooked on Strumpets lately.

Strumpets is a prostitution simulator that lets you turn tricks, train hookers, and run your own thriving brothel. It’s a fan-supported game, with hundreds of excited players eagerly throwing money at the creator on Patreon. Supporters have access to an exclusive downloadable version of the game, but I’ll be playing the free one today over at NewGrounds.

Manage Your Own Hot Strumpets

I like how the title screen to Strumpets calls it, “The Adult Brothel Game”. I guess that’s to differentiate it from the other non-adult brothel games. You lolicon perverts never stop, do you?

The format here ain’t loli, but it is well-drawn pixel hentai with all kinds of shapely sluts. There’s certainly enough detail to make you hard and get you fapping, as the opening sequence of the game should prove. Honestly, if the graphics don’t do it for you within the first few minutes, you may want to find something else.

The very first thing you’ll do in the game is design your starting character. By default, she’s a woman, but male and futa options are also available. You’ll choose facial features, eye color, and hairstyle. They’ve got a Chun Li doo and some Karen cuts, but I settled for an anime schoolgirl-type ponytail. Her twat is bald by default, but you can choose a style. The curtains will always match the drapes in this game.

The game asks you right from the beginning if you want to see man-on-man fucking. Futanari content is included by default, but either of those settings is adjustable at any time from the settings menu.

The Sex Appeal slider will make the tits bigger or add different veins to the dicks. There aren’t a lot of body-type options, but you can choose a muscle girl or add a belly to the default body. The clothes don’t necessarily fit the fatter stomachs.

When it was time to dress my chick, I got a little impatient and eager for the next part of the game. I started clicking around randomly on the options, but the results came out alright. Carla has a black bra, skirt and socks, a ball-gag, bunny ears, and a bunny tail. You, hentai nerds, are going to love this shit.

Pimping Whores, One Day at a Time

There’s some basic storyline info before the game starts. Some pervert long ago used to perv out and was imprisoned for perving, where he or she died. Then some kind of succubus thing happens, and a spooky sexy broad sits on a throne, and suddenly you have to collect lust for an evil witch.

Yeah, it’s kind of convoluted, but I’m not sure it matters. I ended up addicted to the game for a few hours the first time I played, and none of that intro storyline really came into play much at all. I pretty much forgot it entirely a few rounds in.

Strumpets is all about building a prostitution empire from the ground up. You start as a lone harlot, left to your own devices in the big city. Your only option, in the beginning, is to sell your body in the slums, where you’re “more likely to get raped than hired, but the law tends to stay away.”

Higher-class streets are still locked. Each of the locations has statistics showing how much money you can make and how big the risks are. The slums don’t have a lot of cops, but the other risks are high, and you can’t make much.

Fortunately, I didn’t get raped immediately. I clicked the Go button and was treated to an animation of my slut riding a dude backwards cowgirl. The feat earned me $135, and I turned around and gave a different dude a footjob for a few bucks. After that, my stamina was spent, and I had to go home.

The next day I went out, and I did it again. I had a goal: $500. Once I had a little stack of cash, I went to the market and bought the first girl of my harem, a tan-skinned, blue-haired exotic bitch with an angry face.

Bribe Cops, Fight Rapists, Make Money

The bulk of the game revolves around earning money with your prostitutes, and then using that money to build your hooker empire, which in turn leads to more money and faster empire building. The game has a good number of factors to keep track of if you want to do it as efficiently as possible.

You’re going to get attacked by thieves, rapists, and police while you’re out there, so you need to be ready to fight. The fight scenes are honestly kind of boring, but you can speed them up by picking up some weaponry at the armory.

You’ll buy your sexy outfits at the clothing store, your whores at the market, and your shadier shit at the black market. There was talk about getting some furries in at the black market, but maybe I didn’t follow the instructions to unlock them right. I bribed the broad, and she told me she was going out into the wilderness for me, so maybe it’s still a matter of waiting.

You’ll do most of your upgrading back at home. The place is a wreck at first, but as you start earning money, you can upgrade all your living conditions. You’ll need to build bigger accommodations for the girls and a brothel for customers, and you’ll need to unlock new streets to work as soon as you can. Fix the kitchen to keep the girls well-fed, which keeps their stamina up and their morale high.

Most of the upgrades are tiered. You can make the whore market bigger, but then you’ll want to make it better, and then you’ll want to make it even bigger and even better. That keeps you in a constant cycle of pimping out your hoes, coming back home, upgrading shit, and sending those bitches out again.

The cops are sexy in Strumpet, but they’re ballbusting bitches who love arresting your whores. You can fight, fuck, or flee, with varying degrees of success. No matter what, you’re going to be doing a lot of bribery if you don’t want to spend all your cash bailing out your bimbos.

Addictive, Fap-worthy and Fun

Some games make you do a lot of grinding for the sex scenes, but not Strumpets. The most explicit bits are short little loops, but you get to see them every time you sell your services or do training. There’s a ton of diversity in sex acts, too. These are some practiced whores! Speaking of practice, the training area lets you choose who does what with who, and it’s as dirty as it sounds.

It’s pretty easy to see why the game’s fans are donating so much cash to the creator of Strumpets, despite being a free game. The art is fucking hot, there are constant sex animations, and the gameplay is genuinely addictive. The Patreon page calls it “very early in development and constantly changing,” which means there’s more to come.

The depth of the game is already surprising. I played for a few hours, and there were elements I didn’t even touch on. The airship, for example, lets you send your strumpets out on missions in the big, wide world. I never got around to it with all the pimping and whoring I was doing.

The worst thing I can say about Strumpets is that it might really fuck up your day’s productivity. This is a really fucking well-done take on the brothel management genre. Patrons get access to the newest releases and other perks, but the rest of you cheapskates can play for free right now on the web.