Brothel City

These days you see tons of freemium games that draw from FarmVille to the point that most of the time, you feel like you’re waiting for crops to grow. Instead, you’re waiting for pussy to get wet or some shit, so you can get back into the action. Some of these games even pour salt on the wound by having you farm actual crops. I don’t play porn games to watch potatoes slowly sprout from the ground.

The funny thing about FarmVille and these weird-ass clones is that they all pretty much draw inspiration from grid-based strategy games of old, particularly city-builders. I think that the general term for those is tycoon games. You build a business, a city, a theme park, you name it, and then you watch it grow over time while you optimize for profit. These are ridiculously fun video games. It’s a shame that most porn games don’t go straight to the source; instead, they copy FarmVille, which is in itself a poor copy of a great genre.

Well, that brings us to Brothel City. If you’re as pissed off as I was that there were no proper strategy or tycoon porn games on the market, this game will settle in your heart quite nicely. As for what it will do for your cock, we’ll get to that, but suffice it to say it’s going to get spicy.

It’s Just Business

This game starts you off with an empty lot that you own, a lot that makes absolutely no money whatsoever, and that’s your problem. You want to turn this lot of land into a profitable venture. And how are you going to do that? With prostitutes, of course! You’re going to be making the best brothel location this side of the Great Rockies.

You know how in other strategy games, the first unit you purchase is usually a villager or a drone, you know, to gather resources and build buildings? Well, in this game, your first hire is going to be a prostitute. As I always say, how are you going to get anything done if your heart and soul aren’t in the right place first? And as we all know, the best way to gather your bearings and get ready to get shit done is to satisfy your cock first. It’s how most good ideas start out.

The Story Doesn’t Matter

In simulation games, stories are pretty much pointless. It’s nice to have quests thrown in for the hell of it. They get you excited about what’s coming next, but generally, you don’t need a plot. Well, Brothel City dabbles with the concept of a story, a little bit. There’s not a lot of it, but it’s thrown in casually to get you to sort of understand how the game works and feel like you’re not alone. After all, it’s a game in which you’re supposed to jack off. You would hate it if it felt too mechanical.

So, you have a sort of sidekick character called Jessy, who is the manager of the original hotel building you get when you start a new game. She teaches you the ropes, all the while calling you master, for some fucking reason. I’m not complaining; I just find it funny how even women who are in charge manage to be submissive to the player character in porn games, across the board.

Satisfied Customers

This is probably the first porn game I’ve ever played that centered around you pleasing as many men as possible, for vicarious satisfaction. Now, before you click away from this review in the assumption that this might just be a gay porn game, it isn’t. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but this is a game made for straight men. Hear me out.

The whole point of the brothel is that you create the ultimate sex den, so that the visitors to your complex are milked of cum and money as much as humanly possible. The entire game revolves around optimizing your brothel in new and original ways. There’s also the simple matter of buying even more buildings that can be used to milk even more money out of visitors.

Now, you might be thinking that it sucks that the only person in the game who isn’t being milked is yourself, but think of it this way. The chicks in the game all work for you. They fuck dudes for you, and they earn money for you. That means that when you fuck them, that’s a complimentary bang. Every bit of progress you make in this game means there’s more smut for you to enjoy. You get to actually see the sexiest scenes play out in front of you, every single time you unlock a new feature.

Chicks and Smut Pics

The smut in this game is, unfortunately, entire static. They’re all high-quality art images, which I honestly had no problems fapping to. Yes, it would have been very nice to get an animated cutscene or two, but I take what I can get in games like these. Plus, the gameplay was so ridiculously fun that I didn’t mind the work that game before the play. I’d play this game without even jacking off, some days. It’s entertaining, and it reminds me of the games I used to play when I was a kid. Except, back then, they didn’t come with a ton of tits.

All in all, there are over 200 scenes that you can unlock, and every single one of them comes with nudity. Some of them are sexual, others are suggestive, but they’re all super-hot. I should also note that the smut inside this game is in a completely different style than the gameplay, and that’s a really good thing. The game itself is very flat, matte, and cartoonish. If the tits were drawn in the same style, they’d be very underwhelming.

Instead, the scenes you unlock are drawn in a very familiar card-game artwork style. They’re kind of like high definition paintings, in a way, but with a modern twist.

Core Mechanics and Shorter Skirts

You can hire up to 33 different girls in this game. They’re all unique and come with artwork that changes over time, as you unlock smuttier scenes that feature them. At first, it’s going to be basic stuff like unlocking shorter skirts for waitresses. This apparently lets them walk faster, increasing the speed at which people eat at dining halls that have waitresses. So, for the price of shorter skirts, you get an efficiency boost of 10% at dining halls. You get the idea.

Degrees increase in lewdity and corruption as you unlock them further, so you eventually get to a point where you’ve slutified every single girl that’s working for you so that she can earn you a ton of money from customers. At first, a waitress is just a waitress. Towards the end of the game, she’s a cock hungry slut that’s willing and able to do anything she can to please her customers. And, you are privy to images of all of her skills in action, so you can pleasure yourself.

Bonus Content and Tech Specs

The game trailer boasts that you can also hire mythical females, which is the developer’s way of injecting some high fantasy into the game. These function the same as other girls, but they’re usually much hotter, much lewder, and easier to lay. Plus, they give very big stat bonuses to your brothel, so they’re super useful as well.

There’s not much to be said about the tech specs for this game, since it’s an entirely 2D porn game. The standards for minimum requirements for porn games are very low. So, if your computer can run the browser in which you are reading this review, it can probably handle Brothel City too, without a hitch.

This is the kind of game you can dump a lot of time in without feeling guilty, because it’s equal parts regular game and porn game. There’s a challenge here. It’s not about just speeding your way to the smut. You are building an empire here. Your effort is valuable, and the girls are very grateful for it.

If you really enjoy this game, make sure to dump some money into the developer’s Patreon, because they clearly worked very hard on this game. But, at the end of the day, it’s a free game, so make sure to try it out thoroughly first. I’m sure that you’ll find something here you’ll enjoy. As long as you’re not looking for a quick and easy fap, this game is an absolute treat.