Uddertale

Are you looking for a game to scratch that fetish itch? You know, the one where you want to splooge to furries while also solving puzzles? If this sounds like a good time to you, then you’re going to love Uddertale. An odd game with great puzzle mechanics, the extremely short title packs with it a world of mystery and intrigue as you try to solve puzzles. But, let’s first dive into the story of the game and what exactly you’re going to be playing while you secretly fantasize about banging the hot goat thing you encounter.

A Short but Interesting Story

I haven’t played Undertale yet (I know, blasphemy!), so I can’t quite comment on if the story is a parody of it. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that it vaguely resembles what Undertale did but in a much more precise fashion.

So, the story starts with you in a dark cave (bring on the vagina metaphors). You don’t know what’s going on or where you are. All you know is that, as you gather your wits, you see a beautiful and voluptuous woman make her way towards you. You can’t really make out what she looks like, so you decide to follow her since she’s friendly.

That ends up being a mistake…if you play the game wrong.

You end up in this goat person’s (that’s honestly the best description I can give of her) house, and it’s immediately clear that the game hearkens to your dick. Why? Well, this goat chick’s boobs are literally hanging down to her knees.

You want to bang her so bad, but you can’t. She tells you that you can stay for a while until you get back on your feet and that there’s really only one rule in the house. DON’T GO IN THE BASEMENT. That may either turn you on and make you rock hard or weird you out. Or both. Either way, she leaves you to explore the house.

And that’s when things get really, really weird.

A Puzzle of a Puzzler

Point-and-click adventure games aren’t for everyone. Some people like straight forward sex games where they can just stare at some Japanese girls or simulate fucking your neighbor. This game is different. It’s really not a game that you can play one-handed while you touch your schlong. As it is a point-and-click adventure, you have to use your noodle…head…your brain. Get your mind out of the gutter!

You’re free to roam the tiny house by clicking on the edges of the screen to change rooms. This is a classic element of point-and-click games, and I didn’t have a problem with it. Each room consists of seemingly ordinary objects. You’ve got your books in the living room, a couple of beds in her bedroom, and the guest room. There's even a kitchen with a sweet pie cooling on the counter.

But, looks can be deceiving, and it doesn’t take long for you to realize that almost every object holds some sort of clue as to what to do.

This is the part where people who hate point-and-click games really vent their frustration. The game requires you to click on basically everything and read their descriptions. While the descriptions are humorous, it’s not clear what symbols you should use for items. For example, you have four actions you can perform. You can look at an item you’ve picked up, look (observe and read descriptions), grab, and go. Sometimes, I would observe something and get a description, and the eye would stay half shut. When the eye expands into a whole eye, it means the item is important. However, some of these objects require you to “go” to them, and it got very confusing very fast.

Granted, I’m not the best at point-and-click games, but it still needs a little more direction.

The sexual nature of the game comes from the objects you find and how you interact with them. For instance, I ended up finding an XXL condom and a sock. Now, there is an option to merge objects. When I experimented with merging these two items, I ended up in a sexual situation. I won’t spoil it, but the sock fits my massive dick surprisingly nicely.

As you make your way through the small house, you’ll notice that it holds quite a variety of choices and things to uncover. There are a lot of hidden items, so it’s worth taking your time and slinking through this goat chick’s house.

Once you finally figure out what to do, you finally enter the forbidden basement. I won’t spoil what goes on down there, but an interesting aspect of this game is that your decisions as to what you did with the items you found do come back into play. It’s a neat little way of reminding you of what you did. And, depending on the items you took, and what you did with them, you’ll receive one of a handful of endings. Apparently, I got the bad end (even though I snagged some pussy anyway).

What I Like

I enjoyed the puzzle nature. Although some of the solutions were obtuse at times, that’s how point-and-click adventures work. I did enjoy the mystery, although the story really never went anywhere. I also liked the inherent weirdness. Even for sex games, there’s a couple of situations in this game where I was weirded out (in a good way).

What I Hate

I didn’t like the story setup. It literally doesn’t go anywhere, and I feel like this is supposed to be a small part of a larger whole. Some of the puzzles were a bit difficult to solve. Even though it’s a point-and-click adventure game, it was still tough to tell what exactly I was supposed to do. These types of games require the player to stumble and bumble around until they find the solution, but a bit more guidance would have been nice.

My Final Impression

Overall, I had a relatively fun time with the game. It’s super short, and I think this is the entirety of the game. From what I can tell, this isn’t a demo, and the game is meant to be a short and intense experience. However, this really isn’t the game for you if you want to get hard and stay hard for the duration of the game. You may want to get warmed up playing this game and jerk off to another game that has more sexual content.