Thomas Taihei

There’s no shortage of hentai games. We get new ones every goddamn day. It would appear that we’re running out of clever names for hentai game sites, though. ThomasTaihei? Really? It means Thomas army. It’s… kind of cringe. It’s one guy’s website and he’s running a massive database of awesome hentai games for the world to enjoy. Except, the way he goes about doing it confuses me to no end. You’ll see what I mean soon enough.

On the surface, ThomasTaihei is a simple porn game site where you can check out an extensive catalog of porn games. Nothing wrong with that. I like having a one stop shop for these kinds of games. These kinds of sites are easy to recommend to people, on account of how simple they are. Except, ThomasTaihei gives the illusion of simplicity. It’s actually a migraine in the works and you’re in serious danger of needing some acetaminophen soon. Before I start bitching and moaning, I have to disclose: yes, this guy has a link to yours truly on the home bar, on the top right. That’s my name. He’s linking back to this site. Yay. I’m grateful, really. And, I love what he’s done with the video game collection. I just have a lot to review regarding the way that the games are made available to you. It’s really something.

The Discord is Unavoidable

In a way, this is a review for ThomasTaihei but also their private Discord server. Normally, I wouldn’t do that – they’re two separate entities. Other sites I’ve reviewed also have Discord servers, but I avoid them. There’s no need to talk about them. Can’t really do that with ThomasTaihei I’m afraid. The Discord server is a key part of the website, by order of the great Mr. Thomas himself. Basically, if you want to get your hands on any of these porn games, you have to visit the Discord server. You don’t have a choice.

That being said, the server itself is a perfectly legitimate little hole full of link and kind people and you don’t have to interact with any of them if you don’t want to. Plus, there are so many members there, it’s not like anyone is going to notice that you joined and send you DMs. I haven’t had any troubles with the Discord so far. I joined, I found games, I fapped and no-one noticed or cared. But, why the Discord server? Why this extra step? 

Third Party Download Complications

I think this complication has something to do with site protection and third-party download prevention. Meaning, Thomas doesn’t want other websites to bombard him with download requests. He’s got over 3000 games on here and new ones are being uploaded regularly, so you can only imagine the kind of honeypot this place could be for other similar sites if they wanted to rip this place off and drain it for downloads. 

ThomasTaihei avoids giving out direct download links and in fact, none of the games are actually hosted on this domain. They’re mostly on third party file hosting sites, which is probably for the best – those sites always offer a more reliable download source that stays alive indefinitely, provided there’s traffic. Those sites make their money by peddling faster download speeds for premium memberships, so they very much appreciate games like these. They encourage visits. 

Links and Downloads

If that’s the case then why wouldn’t he just link these directly? What’s the downside? He could easily let the destination download sites handle the users that come for the files. Instead, he gatekeeps the actual links by only sharing them on his Discord. It’s funny – the Discord actually has a link that gets regularly updated, leading to a list of all the games on the site. 

It’s one page with one link. That link leads to a third-party website where you can download an entire folder full of …other folders. All of the folders there are named with a number from one to some three thousand – one for each game. So, if you want to download a specific game you have to find the number that corresponds to it and check that particular link. Then, you have to download it from this third-party website and run it on your PC.

The dude that runs ThomasTaihei has a message on this page that says that you should only download one game at a time, instead of downloading the entire collection all at once. Except, I haven’t seen a single thing that’s preventing you from doing just that. I mean, who wouldn’t want more than three thousand porn games in one download. If you’ve got the space on your computer and the internet connection required to get this done during this century, then why not download them all? I could understand if this was somehow ruining the experience for other users, but it should be unrelated. 

A Great Community

In short, ThomasTaihei hides the games behind a Discord wall, to then give out a download link for all of them at once. This makes less sense the more you think about it. Maybe he’s just trying to piggyback on the popularity of the games in order to grow his Discord server. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. Discord admins are usually kind of overzealous about growing their domains any chance they get. The more users, the bigger the community. The bigger the community, the more of a reach ThomasTaihei has. Plus, these people might consider donating or something to that tune. Who knows?

What I do know is that the server is very prim and proper. It’s well organized. There are a lot of channels with dedicated topics like smut, games, hentai, discussions and the like. You can make a lot of cool friends here without trying too hard. Just dive right into a conversation and you’re golden. As long as you respect the basic rules of the server, you won’t be having any trouble with this place. I love this Discord server and I think they’re doing a fantastic job at making gamer nerds feel welcome and catered to. 

A Strange Structure

That being said, I wish there was a bit more of a focus on ThomasTaihei specifically. The site, I mean. As it currently stands it’s just a reference library. That’s not bad in and of itself, but when you’re immediately encouraged to go elsewhere, on another platform, you kind of run out of reasons to visit the original site ever again. I mean, if all the games are on the Discord and all the people that know them well can be found there and contacted for advice and recommendations, then the site becomes a bit of an appendix, no?  

Whether you’re looking at the site or the Discord, you’ll be inundated with an absurd amount of helpful information. It’s too helpful. Seriously, it’s way too much. What is this shit? Why are they bending over so far to help me? I mean, I’m pretty sure I can handle a porn game download. It’s not that complicated. You get it, you run it. What’s the big deal? This site and the Discord both have a ton of tutorials, manuals and assistance pages that expertly detail how you can set up and enjoy every single game they’ve got on here. Why? I mean, who is writing these? What’s the point? 

They Go the Extra Mile

I know it’s nice to hand-hold people when they can’t figure out a particularly buggy mess of a game, but all of the games I tried out on this site were plug and play, so to speak. I got them, I launched them, I played them. There was no need for a fucking manual. Hell, half of these bad boys are made in Unity. You can’t get any more seamless than that. Unity gets a lot of flak for being bulky, but it does sort of guarantee that these games will launch everywhere, no matter what.

ThomasTaihei is a strange website, to be sure, but it’s strange in good ways and for that I give it a gold star. Going out of your way to offer your users help that they didn’t ask for and they didn’t know they needed is strange, but not unwelcome. Why not help people jack off faster? Hell, maybe some of these games actually require some elbow grease. I don’t know. I haven’t played them all. I mean, there are over three thousand of them for fuck’s sake. 

If you’re excited by that number and the promise of seemingly infinite interactive pussy, then by all means, dive right into this ever-growing list of amazing porn games, most of which are fresh off the presses.