Fap-Nation.org

They made another game cataloguing site and I’m happy about it. You know the downsides already – most of these games can be found elsewhere. All of these game curation sites are the same. They offer the same service. The bottom line is simple. You come here for the recommendation. It’s kind of like looking for your favorite movie reviewer. It’s not about the movies – all the movies are the same and you watch them in the cinema at the end of the day. It’s about finding a guy that says it the way you feel it. Finding someone who knows what you’re after. So, how does Fap-Nation fair? I won’t lie to you, it’s damn decent.

I’ve been reviewing a lot of these sites back-to-back lately and this one sticks out in that there are no shit games on the list. That inevitably makes the list a bit smaller than it could be, but I prefer it this way. I don’t want flash games from 2001. I don’t want five-minute games. I want the real shit, the proper hardcore games worth playing. We’re past a quarter of this century and we’re still fapping to 2D semi-animated games. It’s sad. I know that most of this is because large studios don’t make porn games and the average porn game developer is a single man with one hand in his pants at all times, but I still insist on having standards. Most of the games on Fap-Nation pass my bullshit threshold. 

Great Games, Good Games, Big Mix

I’m seeing Timestamps on the very front page of Fap-Nation. I remember that game. I thought it was finished. Turns out, they’re making a second chapter. Timestamps was a 3DCG about some dude who travelled through time and he now has to fuck a lot of bitches, or something. I played it a long time ago. I loved it. I’m glad it got a sequel. Point is, you’ve got a proper 10/10 game on the front page. That’s a good start. 

Looking further, I’m seeing all kinds of games mixed and matched, but they all look like they’re worth playing. Whoever put this site together was careful not to use any screenshots that are misleading. Some of these games have cover art, but it shows actual gameplay, so it’s fine. Others don’t have a cover, so the dev took a screenshot for you in order to show you exactly what you’re getting. This will keep you from accidentally downloading a visual novel, in case you’re allergic to reading like I am. It’s funny – I write for a living, but reading dialogue makes me viscerally angry. Maybe I just like the sound of my own voice exclusively, or, maybe I don’t like listening to women complain about their problems.

Finished Games – 1.0

Ok, back to business. Every game on here is listed with a name and then the version in brackets. The webmaster also appends the word completed in brackets after the version to let you know that the bad boy is done cooking and ready for consumption. You should know this by now – most porn games take forever to wrap up because the developers live off of donations and a lot of those donations equate to bread crumbs. So, it’s a slow burn. Some of them even abandon their projects all together.

Thankfully, most of the games I found on Fap-Nation were completely finished. They’re marked 1.0 or further. Going above 1.0 usually means the game got DLC or extra content. Either way, if you see a 1.0 you know there will be no blue balls. On the other hand, I’m seeing quite a few new games that just took off and a lot of those are in early beta, but this makes perfect sense. They’re on their way. They’re also worth playing. There are a few titles on here that I’ve never heard of. That’s a great sign. I spend every fucking day looking for this shit. If I haven’t seen it yet, that means it’s fucking fresh.

Easy to Navigate

The categories, genres and the like are really useful. First of all, you’ve got a dropdown menu that lets you choose your platform. This is mega useful on a site that offers so many different types of games. Usually, if you’re lucky, your porn game of choice will be made in Ren’Py and exported for every platform under the sun. Then again, when devs use something like Unity it’s anyone’s guess which platform will actually be supported. You never know. This kind of categorization helps. 

I especially like the spread of Android games. A lot of them are 3DCGs that were originally made for other platforms, but they work just the same on mobile. There are a few games that were planned for a vertical layout, though and you can tell they were designed for phones. They’re preferable, if you think about it. In vertical view, you can easily fap with one hand and play with the other. I don’t see how you can get away with it in landscape, unless you have one of those cringe-ass phone holder nipples that people have on the backs of their phones. Does your phone really need a fucking rod on the back?

Completed Games and Betas

One of the most important categories on here that gets its own button is the finished section. All 1.0 games in one place. No beta shit. This is the tab for people that really don’t appreciate having their time wasted. Keep in mind, these games tend to take a really long time to finish, so it’s not like you’re going to run out of content with a beta if you’re in for a 10-minute jerk. But, if you really fall in love with a game, like I have in the past, then you might end up edging for more than two hours. For me, it’s rare, but it does happen. Being a DIK had my cock in stitches, because I refused to fucking cum for hours on end. I’m dead serious. Yes, it’s that great a game. 

Let’s see the actual game pages. You get a short preview of the game, with a description of what to expect, along with some tabs that let you check out extra information like patch notes and even screenshots of the game, in case you need more information before you download. Then, there’s the download section and here I ran into quite a few bumps.

Free Downloads, Period

I knew that I’d be looking at external download links. None of these sites host their own files. It’s too expensive and since they’re giving out these games for free and these games are free to begin with, it makes no sense to pay for file hosting. That part is fine. I have no problem with it. Hell, some sites even make you click through an affiliate link and watch some dumb-fuck ad in order to make a cent off of you - Fap-Nation does not do this. You go straight to the download link, immediately.

So, what’s the problem? Well, a lot of the links are broken. Also, every game has its own set of download links, across different random sites, which makes no sense. Being a DIK is available on like 5 different sites and all the links are down. Another game I tried called Fap Nights was only available on Qiwi, but it loaded immediately. So, I don’t really know what to think.

Tons of Random Problems

A lot of game curation and review sites like Fap-Nation suffer the same fate if they don’t get regular maintenance. Even though there are new games on the stack coming in regularly, the old ones don’t get updated. Those links expire fast. You have to go through these bad boys daily or they’re going to become redundant. That makes the site a desert of dead links. Fap-Nation is still holding it together, somewhat, but it won’t last long at this pace.

Ultimately, if you like Fap-Nation and the games on here, you could always use this site to find the games you want to play, but go elsewhere to download them. It’s a fucking mess, but it works in case you really want to browse this place. I wouldn’t blame you. The layout is great, the games are awesome and you can tell that whoever made this site really cared about their work.

Ultimately, it’s your call. I’m telling you, the downloads are a headache. If that doesn’t turn you away, then by all means, dive deep into some quality porn games, my guy. I know you’ll have a great time. This is some primo shit.