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Updated on 15 January 2020
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Slot Bitches

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Slot Bitches

User Rating: 4/5
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Slot Bitches is a Lewd Casino Game With Loads of Hot, Unlockable Illustrations. Alright, raise your fucking hands. How many of you have gambled away your precious, meager savings at a casino? I know there must be some of you who like living on the edge. I know not all of you are circle-jerking over on r/wallstreetbets. Some of you are actually hitting the streets and trying to make it big.

You know what? That’s some pretty alpha shit. It takes some balls to get out in the world, throw real money down on a table, and watch as your fate falls into the hands of chance. Oh, right, who am I kidding? You fucks couldn’t be that cool if you tried. You’re probably getting anxiety at the mere thought of leaving your hovel. Well, good thing, I had a backup plan.

A Lewd Slot Game Where You, Hopefully, Won’t Lose Your Life Savings

Slot Bitches. It’s like the Weenie Hut Jr of actual casinos. You don’t have to download this shit or any of that usual bullshit. It plays right there in your browser. Even your fucking grandpa could get this shit to run just fine. The site launched back in mid-2017, and I wish I could say the game was slaying it and drawing you fucks in by the millions. It’s not. It’s got a decent following of around 100 thousand of you each month, which certainly isn’t too bad at all.

The game is easy enough to find. Just plug in Slotbitches.com, and you’ll be there in a snap. You’ll be thrown right into the tutorial for the game. The slutty redhead gives you a rundown of what all of the different menus and items can do. Oh, I have to mention the shit around the game player in the center. You get to stare at these two dime pieces with massive tits the entire time you play. It’s hot as fuck.

Make a Free Account to Track Your Progress & Buy Premium Currency

Anyway, during the tutorial, you will have the option of signing up for an account. The game does save your progress even without an account, but I don’t know if you fucks want to live that much on the edge. One history clear or cache clean, and your progress will sink down the drain to never be seen again. I recommend making that free account to keep that progress locked down, and having an account also allows you to make in-game purchases.

Let’s cover our bases here. You have a couple of unlocked slots you can play when you first start. Each one will have a different theme and a different slut for you to play against. Your goal is to earn enough “orgasmapoints” to get the slot slut all wet and wanting. Once she’s horny, you’ll unlock a bonus game where you both face off in a race to make each other cum.

Earn Coins, Make Sluts Cum, and Build Your Arsenal of Sexy Toys

This is where your sex toy items come in. You can collect these from random gift boxes/packs. Your goal is to build an arsenal of toys and upgrade them so that they give you higher health, make your opponents cum quicker, and pack a bunch each time they are used.

Once you pick your toys, you’ll face off in a slot vs slot challenge. Honestly, it really comes down to chance. Stringing the same toys in a row will do massive damage. If you nut first, you lose. But losing isn’t a huge deal. You just need to build up her orgasmapoints again to get another chance at that pussy. If she nuts first, then she will strip a little for you. Do this enough times, and you’ll be taking these bitches doggy style in no time at all.

Face-Off Against Hot Babes to Unlock Kinky Illustrations

This is the only method I’ve found for getting to the actual sex scenes. And it does take quite a few tries to get a babe to drop everything. She’ll even fuck herself first before she lets you dick her down. But the art you unlock is fairly sexy. You’re not getting any animations or anything, but you do go fully uncensored shots of these babes getting fucked. The game does well with adding in some subtle moans and other kinky sounds throughout.

Aside from slots, you can play scratch-off tickets and spin roulette wheels. Both of these games are unlocked from random drops during the slot game. The scratch-off game can net you sex toys, new slots, and much more. The same goes for the wheel game. Though all of these games, you’ll find trinkets and prizes that go towards unlocking the next slot bitch. Each girl requires a certain set of items to unlock her.

Play for Free as Long as You Want! No Need to Use the Pay-to-Win Currency

But let’s talk about currency. You vapid fucks are probably wondering what sort of dosh you use to gamble in this. You start off with a decent number of coins. And I found that mine never fell to a dangerously low level. You get coins every day for signing up. You get them pretty freely during the game. It felt pretty low stakes. If you’re going to casually play and just fuck around with this game, then you should be fine using the coins.

There are also diamonds. The premium currency. This currency lets you win anything and everything. You can bypass slot unlocks, instantly defeat your slutty opponents, heal yourself during the battle, and much more. The premium currency also lets you bypass wait times. You usually have to wait a few hours to open gift boxes. Simply pay a few diamonds to open it right away. I really never fucking understood this shit.

Why buy a premium currency that lets you skip the whole reason you’re playing a fucking game? If you didn’t want a challenge, you could just go watch some fucking porn. It’s like using cheat codes in a video game. Why bother? And it’s not like this currency is cheap. It’ll cost you upwards of 50 bucks for a couple hundred of the damn things. You could spend them in minutes if you really set yourself to it.

Mobile Version of the Game is Clunky to Use

You can play this game on mobile. Should you? Probably not. It’s not formatted badly, but it sure isn’t formatted well. It’s right on the cusp of not being worth it to even play. You need to zoom in on certain things to tap on them. And the whole thing runs much slower on mobile. I also couldn’t find a way to toggle the audio on mobile, so you’re stuck missing out on all of the hot moans and sound effects.

BestPornGame’s Favorite Features

I like how laid back Slot Bitches can be. You don’t need to do any intense shit in this. There are no monster battles, complex storylines, or any of that. You can just chill and fap to this lewd game. You’ll probably never run out of fucking coins, so you can relax and spin slots as long as you want. Hell, you can throw that shit on auto-spin to have the gameplay on its own while you’re gone.

BestPornGame’s Suggestions

I did want a bit more from the sexy unlocks. Like, come on, who the fuck faps to still images anymore? It’s the current year, give me some fucking animations. Especially since it takes so long to even get the sex scenes unlocked in the first place. There are loads of little, lewd animations throughout the rest of the game. It’s just a bummer to spend hours grinding away on one slut to only get a picture as your reward. It feels like a consolation prize.

BestPornGame’s Final Thoughts

Overall, Slot Bitches was a fun, easy to play slot game. You don’t need to go crazy with strategies or any of that bullshit. It all comes down to chance. Kick back, relax, and fap to some hot babes. That’s all that there is to it. I think most of you casual gamers will enjoy the easy gameplay, addictive slot spinning, lewd unlockables, and uncensored sex scenes. I recommend you cucks go on ahead and give Slotbitches.com a visit.

BestPornGames Likes Slot Bitches
  • Simple yet addictive casual gameplay
  • Loads of mini-games and features for a free game
  • Unlockable, lewd, uncensored images of hot babes
  • Lots of hot sound effects and moans
BestPornGames Hates Slot Bitches
  • Premium currency
  • No animated sex scenes