Sharks Lagoon Games
Are you dick wads hungry for content? Because Daddy’s working hard to give you quality ones. So open up, motherfuckers. This is my Shark’s Lagoon review. Guzzle up on this creamy, wet and hot hot hot content, incels, it’s cumming for you!
Shark’s Lagoon, or the Shark’s Lagoon (if we’re being technical), is an erotic game site that hosts, collects and produces no-nonsense games for horny teenagers out there. Of course, that goes without saying I belong to that group – I mean, I’m getting some here and there but whatever. Not a teenager, though, but horny. Always.
Shark’s Lagoon. What can I say about it? Well, it’s fine. It’s not the best out there when it comes to Flash games, but it can hold its own. Think of the girl in your class that’s not really the prettiest or the hottest, but when she offers herself up to you, you know you won’t resist. That’s Shark Lagoon for you, not the most stellar but isn’t a throwaway either. And judging from the fact that you’re reading this review, you’re surely not in the place to be picky. In fact, you’d be lucky to be offered, so quit being whiny and get on it!
What The Site Is All About
The site is a hodgepodge of erotic games, sexy stories with animation, and a forum. It’s a bilingual/trilingual site, with all of its game languages having the option to set it in English or French or German. That’s class for you, bitch.
It’s safe to say the website’s owner is French —maybe some horny incel in the southern provinces of France that’s really into erotic games? I don’t know. But the language option works. So shout out to our Frenchies out there!
The website’s layout is not the best, although it works. The bright blue background sets everything up, and upfront, you get the latest updates on popular titles -same old, same old. You know the drill.
There are also adverts from other sexy games on either side of the homepage. Why? Beats me. Maybe moderators need the money. Don’t we all? In any case, I’m not judging.
So back to the review. The site itself is organized. You get a selection of HTML and Flash games, and there’s also the Priv Box where you get to subscribe to the site. Another button is for contributions. All the regular stuff you find in an erotic game website, right? But the shining star on the set up is the forum section.
I love a good forum. If it’s up to me, there should be a forum for anything. There can never be enough forums on the Internet. It’s like becoming part of a community, right? That’s one the best parts in this world we live in – all the horny motherfuckers in one place, with the same gaming interests and deprived wants? Hell, yeah, I’m in.
Sharks Lagoon’s forum is oddly organized, too. I mean, there aren’t many posts, but maybe that’s just me. I did enough digging to surmise that perhaps only a handful of people are subscribed to the site, but they keep it tight. Who doesn’t love a community for horny, depraved mofos, am I right?
Oh, and I forgot another highlight of the website: Milly. It’s curious, right? Why would they put just “Milly” alongside HTML Games, Flash Games, and Contact? You’d think this was the flagship game or whatever – but no, lo and behold you, dimwits, Milly is a serial porn story. Ooooh, you’d want to hear all of these!
So Milly, right? It turns out; she’s this slut that’s looking for a job. We met her while she’s having her interview with Mr. Strokem (Har har, can they get any more obvious? But this is good fun, so let’s go), and this girl Milly – this fucking girl – shows up to the interview in a sheer tank top with the most oblivious state that a fuck girl can only muster.
Mr. Strokem, bless his heart, gives Milly a chance. Because, why not? A sexy down on her lucky gal? Of course, Mr. Strokem will give Milly a chance. Like all of us, bozos would if we ever encounter a Milly. So yeah, Milly gets the job.
She’s 18, fresh out of high school, and took business classes. You know the type. Not going to lie, I was reading this ridiculous story, thinking to myself it’s the most obvious story there is in all the history of sexy stories, but that didn’t stop me from having a chub. Don’t judge me, motherfuckers. You would too, and you wouldn’ t think twice about it.
So Milly gets the job, yeah? Then they get on with their work. But it’s in Part 4 and the parts after that it really goes down. Milly’s seducing Mr. Strokem, and the poor dude finally relents. Cue the cumming, yeah? And so, these two co-workers have sex adventures that include girl-on-girl action, threesome, bondage, etc. Oh, boys, you’re going to cum so much from this magazine strip all alone!
The best part? Milly’s story is already complete. That means you get to binge read it in one sitting or plan to divide it in separate readings, so you really savor (wink, wink) the story. If you’re going to use it as masturbation material, you’ll have at least two weeks’ worth of sexiness in front of you, you disgusting piece of shit.
So the games, yeah? As I’ve mentioned before, Shark’s Lagoon hosts HTML and Flash games. Since its 2019 and Flash has been deemed shitty by most browsers – I won’t get into it, because that’s another rant for another time right there – the site’s administrators have gracefully put a download option for the Flash games. Nice of them, huh? Well, Adobe better shape up because we all need Flash in our lives.
HTML games first. They’re basically nonexistent at the time being. Boohoo. There’s a disclaimer when you go to it, claiming that only demos are allowed so far. All the games are still in development, in testing on the Priv Box, so if you want to give them a go, you’ll need to be a member. You can access it through 10 euros, and this is what I’m going to tell you – I’m only saying this about that membership access that’s basically the price of two good coffees: The Priv Box will make you cum like a motherfucker. There are two games in there: The Bet and Mum’s Going Out, plus extra scenes your little willy won’t wanna miss.
The Flash Games – you’ll have to download them. That’s it. I can’t tell you anything else because downloading is a bitch, and Adobe should have straightened their shit up before Chrome decided to drop support for them. But God Is A Woman apparently, so we’re given .exe files instead of having to conveniently stream the games online instead.
What Did I Like About The Site
For all of the bells and whistles that are on the site, what I really liked about it was its simplicity. Yeah, idiots. The site does not project itself like something it’s not. In my book, that’s plus points. Milly’s story is also a bomb. More game sites should copy Shark Lagoon’s lead with that, to be honest.
What Didn’t I Like About The Site
One of the things that I didn’t like is when you think about it, the site’s kinda-sorta empty. From someone who’s spoiled with sites like gamesofdesire.com, which has a heap of games, Shark’s Lagoon seems like a site where horny 12-year olds will want to hang out. I mean, there’s no shame in that because we were all horny 12-year olds once, but pooling in more games will benefit the site more.
Admin, hear this out. How about you put in some HTML games in there, huh? Come on, mofos. A demo is well and good, but guys, developing two or three games that will serve as your teaser will make your site visitors increase. Let’s get on with that, chop-chop.
And let’s not forget about the lack of Flash games in general. Holy fucking shit balls – it’s looking sad, guys. Keep up. Let’s not rest on our laurels or whatever that means. You can only have so many excuses for a shitty site.
All in all, the Shark Lagoon is a hit for me. Beggars can be choosers, right? So even if there are obvious shortcomings from the site (variety of games, cough, cough), it’s still a tight little site if what you want is mindless fun. All good things are simple, and that’s where Shark’s Lagoon gets it for me.
Now there will be incels out there that’ll say, “how could you give this site a go when there are perfectly great substitutes out there like gamesofdesire.com?” I’d say blah blah blah, go whine and cry to your Mommy little boy. This is my review, and it’s my experience and decision to share. How about you jack off your little willy because nobody in your 7th-grade class will, you dumb fuck?
- Site is straightforward
- Cheap subscription
- Language options (French, English, German)
- Lack of HTML games
- Made for teenagers
- Not enough contributions