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Have you ever played Pokemon and thought to yourself: Damn, I’d like to fuck these little critters? No, no, you haven’t, because you’re not completely insane. Most of them are modeled after small real-life critters like rats and squirrels, for fuck’s sake. I mean, I guess if you’re a furry, you might make some argument about how they’re fuckable, since they’re, you know, furred. Either way, I don’t see the appeal of wanting to stick your dick inside a Pikachu. And yet, you just know there’s someone out there who hollowed out a Pokemon plushy and stuck a fleshlight up its ass so he could fuck it. We live in a society.
Just so I’m not a naysayer, I’ll admit this much – Gardevoir is pretty fuckable. It’s no wonder that that Pokemon, in particular, has so many rule 34 renditions out there. I guess it’s because it kind of looks like a hot chick, in terms of curves and shit. I still wouldn’t fuck it if it were real, since I assume it would feel like sticking your dick inside a cactus, but to each his own. Today we’re looking at Pussymon, which is just one more in a long line of Pokemon tributes, but arguably, it’s the hottest one you could possibly find.
Extreme Dedication to Poke-Tits
That’s poke-tits as in they’re tits that you would find on Pokemon babes, not tits that you poke. That would make no sense. Anyways, this game is episodic, and as of right now, there are over fifty of them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a game with this many installments before. Triple-A studios don’t devote this much time, love, and effort to their games. Hell, there aren’t even this many actual Pokemon games, if you think about it.
Granted, Pokemon games come with tens if not hundreds of hours of potential playtime, whereas these episodes are more of a single sit-down matter. Still, they’re all worth fapping to in their own way, so it’s basically a metric fuck ton of content for you to enjoy. And, did I mention that it’s all entirely free? Yup, this game series is a remnant of the old school Newgrounds method. That is, if you’re horny and artistic, you make art for other people to fap to. Sometimes it’s interactive; other times, it’s a cartoon, but either way, you really want people to polish their flagpoles. I’m only going to type this out once, because it hurts my fingers. This game is made by one Sp3ktr3-X, who is practically a legend at this point.
Making Pokemon Hot Is Challenging
I made a big stink about how Pokemon are absolutely not bangable, and I stand by that. Still, this developer managed to pull a boner out of me by making all of the characters in this game semi-human. You know what I mean. They’re chicks, but they’re not really chicks. They have regular pussies and tits, but they’re covered in fur or scales or whatever the hell the Pokemon they’re styled after had. The point is, I’d fuck them if I could.
I’m glad he took this route, to be honest. It’s simple and straightforward. The first and probably most popular Pokemon tribute to girls that I’ve seen is Moemon, which has nothing to do with smut as far as I’m concerned. That’s an actual, honest to God Pokemon overhaul that has the entire game for you to play, but the Pokemon are all swapped out. What are they swapped out for? Cute little girls. Why? How? Who the fuck knows. I guess someone must have seen the original Pokemon and thought, nah, needs more little girls. I stole that joke from JonTron. Don’t sue me.
Anyways, this guy managed to make every single Pokemon across these games a perfect 10 in terms of boner quality. They all get me rock hard without trying very hard. Some of them were a bit of a challenging fap, since the original Pokemon they were modeled after was the polar opposite of arousing. I mean, Snorlax exists in this universe. You remember Snorlax, right? The gigantic behemoth that’s two-thirds stomach and weighs more than an elephant? Yeah, well, good luck fucking that.
Surprising Amount of Gameplay
I mentioned that your average Newgrounds porn post used to be as simple as a Flash animation. If you were lucky, you also got a button that you could press to let you fuck the bitch on screen faster. This was the standard of the time. Well, this developer was having none of that passive shit. He wanted to give you quality gameplay and package it into a tiny Newgrounds game. He cared a lot about these games from day one, which is what I’m trying to say.
That’s exactly why you get a ton of proper gameplay out of them. It blew me away to see just how much work actually went into what should be a very simple concept. I mean, if I’m here to fuck Pokemon babes, I’m not going to complain about a lack of gameplay. And yet, it’s all thrown in there anyways.
You basically get to experience a small version of what the Pokemon games actually are. – Open world RPG smut collection. In the originals, you’d collect critters, in this one you collect sluts. It should be a similar concept to you if you’ve ever played a Nutaku game. You’re basically building a harem at this point, except all of your women fit inside your balls. Not your actual balls, the Poke-balls you use to capture them.
Punching a Poke-Slut in the Face
Every single time I play one of these games where they mix combat and pleasure I feel hard-pressed to give out this disclaimer: Punching a woman in the face never leads to hot sex, it pretty much always leads to a prison sentence. Don’t punch women, don’t punch anyone, ok that’s out of the way, let’s get back to the review.
In each Pussymon episode, you get a small open world that you can explore freely, looking for different pussymon to fight and eventually capture. The basic premise is that while you don’t have any pussymon of your own, you have to settle for throwing actual literal punches at anthropomorphized animals. When you get them close to death, but not quite dead, you can throw a ball at them, and they become yours. Then, you can pit them against each other in a fight to the death, and the survivor gets to suck your cock.
It sounds kind of brutal when I put it like that, but really, that’s the exact same plot to the regular Pokemon games, except there they don’t even get their sexual needs satisfied. So, in a way, Pussymon is actually kinder to these creatures than the original game. In that one, they just get beaten half to death then shoved in a miniature container. What a world!
The Smut Quality
I really want to give Pussymon all the marks and call it a day, but I can’t. The art started out kind of weak in the earlier episodes and only improved somewhat over time. In the latest episodes, you get barely serviceable art. I said that they’re perfectly possible to fap to, and they are, but these bitches still leave a lot to be desired in the quality department. Their entire design is just a bit rough around the edges. This art needs polish. I realize that I’m being a bit of a hypocrite, saying that while I wipe the literal cum stains off of the poke-bitch on my screen. Still, the developer should probably sweat the art style a little more.
On the other hand, maybe the reason we got so many episodes of Pussymon is that the developer doesn’t take his sweet time to gripe over the art. Maybe he rushes these as much as possible so that we get more quantity over quality. I have no idea.
Either way, I’m always grateful for interactive smut that works, doesn’t bug out, and is available for free. All of you are free to enjoy the entire compendium of Pussymon on Newgrounds right away. As for whether the games are going to get your dick hard, I’m not sure. It’s definitely a bit of a challenge, but I’ve jacked off to so much random shit that at this point, I could probably straight up fuck a cactus to completion.
Can you truly call yourself a diehard Pokemon fan if you don’t masturbate to its most popular porn rendition, Pussymon? I don’t think so. So get your lazy butt over to Newgrounds and rub one off in the name of your love for this legendary video game series. And hell, if the pussymon on screen isn’t doing it for you, you’ve got 50 other ones to choose from, so get to fapping.
- Countless episodes
- Intriguing gameplay
- It’s free
- Art needs polish