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Salutations you horny bunch of degenerates! I come bearing news of a mish-mash of a pixelated world with the characters being 3D models! Its the type of game that arouses the feeling of nostalgia, all the while arousing you. Of course, I’m talking about a porn game, that’s why you’re here, aren’t you? The game is called Milf’s Control, and from the title, it already sounds suitable for those who have the fetish for older women.
The most basic description I can give you about this game is that it’s a huge mess of game aspects that fail to do what they were supposed to do. The game says its a card game(something like Yu-Gi-Oh) where you battle other players for cards and possibly money. On top of that, its sort of like an adventure game, reminiscent of the older pokemon games where everything is pixelated.
Here’s the catch about Milf’s Control. You find some weird artifact left by someone 300 years ago. It’s a ring that gives you control over other people’s consciousness, where depending on your gender, you can only control those of the opposite sex. So, with that said, you can probably imagine all of the possibilities you get from that type of scenario. Here’s the kicker, every character you manipulate has huge tits and a great ass(the typical Milf figure).
There’s not much to talk about when it comes to the gameplay other than the very basic and lackluster background story that they’ve given. The game starts with you seeing a dream about an old man dressed in robes hiding some artifact or treasure in a secluded room. Soon after this was shown, you wake up and say that it’s been a recurring dream, so everything is all too familiar for you.
You get out of bed and interact with everything in your room before going out to navigate around the house. Going to your mom’s bedroom rewards you with your first slightly shitty(all still images) scene to get that blood rushing to your pitiful penis. A scene where you peek on your mom getting dressed in nothing but white lace underwear – which quite a spectacle because your mom has a banging body.
Leaving your house introduces you to Eric, your classmate, and friend/rival. He‘s the one that goes over the rules of this card battle that you’ve been having for a long time. This is the first time you’re introduced to the card-based gameplay and the outlook of your deck of cards. Though I said that it’s card-based gameplay, there’s really not much to it, so don’t expect too much out of this aspect of Milf’s Control.
Some dialogues and card battles later, your class has to go on a trip to the museum, there was no backstory given about this so just go along with it. Exploring the museum brings you to the secluded room where the old man has left the control ring and the chest. The chest is locked, so you’ll have to find a way to open it. Opening the chest reveals a piece of paper that gives the details of the ring – it’s ripped, thus, incomplete.
So basically, your objective is to have card battles with strangers to gain money or whatever the fuck you gain out of it—then hypnotizing/manipulating women around you to have sex with you or do some random act of indecency. As I mentioned before, everyone you hypnotize/manipulate has the typical hot milf body, so it’ll benefit you if you do everything correctly to get them to strip and service you.
I still haven’t found it in myself to try and complete the game because it doesn’t seem like there’s an endpoint to the game. Milf’s Control also appears to lack any solid objective or clear instructions to get by the game properly for you to reach to the said endpoint. So the game is sincerely just for beating your meat to incest porn with your mom, sister, aunt, the school’s headmistress, and whoever the fuck the game allows you to do it with.
What I Like About Milf’s Control
Akin to the gameplay description, there’s really not much to talk about. Since it is a small game that barely even puts a load on your computer. But for the review’s sake, I do have to give some positives about the game. I feel like I have to give you fuckwits a reason to waste your time just like I did playing the game, so peel your eyes, read carefully(or not), and off we go, you worthless sons of bitches!
Firstly, the only outstanding aspect I can commend about the game is that it is a porn game. This means that there is plenty of nudity, ass, pussy, and titties. The great quartet that every sweaty, room-dwelling mongrel(such as yourself) seem to really adore. Since the characters are 3D models, there isn’t much that could go wrong from it since there are already lots of presets. So back to the point; nice booty, nice pussy, nice titty.
Secondly, Milf’s Control is a short game. By this, I mean that you won’t have to spend countless hours to get to the one scene that you’ll love in order to squeeze out every drop of semen from your tiny ballsacks. There’s plenty of scenes that you can get without having to pass the 30-minute mark when playing. So Milf’s Control is a game with the sole purpose of serving weird virgins like you.
What I Don’t Like About Milf’s Control
Oh boy, here we go. This is the point where you should realize that this game is worth shit. I mean, you should have expected it since it is a free game and if you’ve done any research on the game, you should have found some screenshots. These screenshots should have been a great reference point for you; they show you enough reasons as to why you should avoid it or at least not waste your precious, precious time playing it.
Firstly, there is little to no storyline at all. Sure, you’re given that first scene and the piece of paper, but then that’s it. Every interaction with characters should at least come to develop the storyline. Still, there’s nothing to develop at all, so it is pointless! The writing is pretty shit too, as you’d expect. This pairing is the perfect recipe for a really shitty game that people will find difficult to enjoy – it won’t spark any feeling of joy.
Secondly, the fucking controls are annoying as shit. One would think that if the whole map and character design were modeled after an older game like pokemon would exhibit some likeness to it. Something like movement animation when walking around, but you don’t get that at all! You click red boxes to move around and interact with everything, which makes the game ultimately even more annoying than it already is.
Thirdly, the animation(which barely exists) and art is something worthy of being deemed as a steaming hot pile of garbage. The art of characters has been dialed down due to the use of the pixel style for the map exploration aspect and the use of 3D models for the actual character pictures. Even with that, the graphic quality is still shit. Not to mention the animations, which is something like a 30-frame loop.
Lastly, the sex scenes aren’t even that great. They’re all still images of 3D models that fail to also arouse you. If the sex scenes and nudity were all you lot were looking for, then I highly recommend you just jack off to regular porn, instead of playing Milf’s Control. If you want a better porn game that offers better scenes then look for better ones, by all means, please avoid playing this game.
The game is just shit overall. The whole experience was just bad and disappointing. They had a great concept of hypnotizing/manipulating voluptuous women, and they still managed to fuck it up. The gameplay was doodoo, the art and animations were unsatisfactory, the writing was done by someone who just got out of middle school, and the controls are the worst part about it. The embodiment of disappointment and shit.
Like I said before, I didn’t really like the game enough to want to finish it. Milf’s Control is a hodgepodge of failed game aspects; it’s lacking lots of story aspects, good art, and overall quality. So maybe instead of using the time playing this game, invest it into doing or making something more useful.
- Good adult content
- Doesn’t require lots of time
- Booties, pussies, and titties
- Shitty writing
- Shitty storyline
- Poor game controls
- Animations and art are garbage
- Sex scenes aren’t great