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Updated on 15 January 2020
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Iris Quest

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Iris Quest

User Rating: 4/5
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Not all porn games are created equal. Some try to cover every fetish you can think of; others focus on a more linear story. But, then there are a select few video games that happened to be developed by people who can’t be assed to finish what they’ve started. Such is the case with Iris Quest. This game is shrouded in a foggy mystery, and I kind of feel like the developers are taking the piss, as they say in England. The game both exists and doesn’t exist.

You can play the demo, but there’s no real gameplay. You can watch the demo’s cutscenes that tease the story, but there is no story. And of course, you can pledge to the developers’ separate Patreon accounts to receive literally nothing in return. At least when Akabur jokes about the fact that you get literally nothing for pledging to his Patreon, he’s funny.

A Good Start

As far as I can tell, the only playable version of Iris Quest came out almost two years ago, which in porn game development terms is like 1008 faps ago. I’m ball-parking, but let’s say that you jack off around six times a day, seven days a week, for two years, that’s 1008 faps. In all that time, between the demo and now, the fans of this game have been blue balled by the developers for what seems to be no good reason.

Anyways, let’s talk about the demo itself, because believe it or not, I actually have a lot of praise to throw around. First of all, you should know that this entire game is planned around the concept of Akabur’s entire compendium of super sexy smut games. That guy had us training Jasmine and Hermione in two separate games, towards becoming the perfect cock-hungry whores. We and our cocks owe Akabur a lot.

So, it’s no wonder that a couple of porn game creators from Russia were very inspired by Akabur’s works and decided to create a porn game that takes place inside his make-believe universe. Iris Quest features all of the original babes from Akabur’s works, but in a sort of spin-off future in which turning princesses into whores is a bad thing, and you feel the need to rescue them for some reason. Maybe it’s a feminist fantasy; maybe I’m just out of touch. Who knows? The point is, you play as Iris, a powerful heroine who’s rolled into Agrabah in order to save all of the princesses from their new lifestyle.

What’s in A Demo?

The demo starts off with this really long and drawn out cinematic, which is basically a slideshow of a bunch of content from the would-be game. It’s also its own prequel, like an intro, to get you to understand the world that you’re playing in. I have nothing against intro sequences, per se. I mean, they introduce you to the game and the characters, and it helps with your immersion. Plus, if there’s smut in the intro, all the better. You can start jacking off before you’ve even started playing. It’s a great way to kick things off.

And boy howdy, does this intro have a lot of smut in it. For an Akabur inspired game, this intro is loaded with smut. There’s a ton of awesome scenes of Jasmine and other princesses from cartoons that Akabur hasn’t even touched. In these scenes, you see the girls being broken into submission very quickly. They’re also being shipped into Agrabah en-masse, because apparently, Jafar is now running some sort of sex slave import business or something. It makes for a very long, very interesting fap, but it’s also loaded with exposition in the form of text. So, am I supposed to jack off, or am I supposed to read the text? I can’t do both. It’s a lot of fucking text.

You might think I’m droning on about the intro, but it’s literally 95% of the entire game. Yes, you heard me right. This 40-minute game, features a 35-minute intro. Oh, I’m sorry, is that not exactly 95%? Well, I’m rounding up because I’m blue balled. Get over it.

What Next?

Oh, well, the demo doesn’t end right after the cutscene. No, it actually lets you play the combat section for a bit before kicking you out on your face. You see, the demo intro concludes with Iris actually showing up. Up until then, it’s all just punished princesses in ripped clothing. Once Iris shows up, she tries to rescue some princesses from the slave caravan, and the guards, who look like some sort of mini-minions, fight back. She shoots them with a gun. Yes, you heard me right. In this video game that supposedly takes place in fictional Ancient Persia, she shoots them with a huge gun.

After that, you take over, and you can actually fight them yourself in an RPG styled combat system that isn’t half bad. I’ve certainly seen a lot worse, especially in porn games. It works fine, it’s interesting enough, but I have to complain about the art style. You see, up until that point in the demo, you could pretty much swear you’re looking at an intro for an Akabur game. Everything has that smooth art style he became famous for.

The second the combat starts, though, you get a completely different art style that just looks janky as fuck. It would make a lot of sense in its own world where everything has that art style, and you know damn well I have no problem with mixed styles between combat sections and visual novel parts. But in this game, it kind of felt like watching two completely different games. One of them was an Akabur title, the other, Iris Quest. But that wasn’t the case. It was all Iris Quest, and once the combat starts, well, that’s it really. That’s all you get in the demo. The game doesn’t progress any further, and they just splash a big thank you across the screen telling you that you should look forward to the full version, which will be coming soon.

Nothing Next

This was over a year ago, and to this day, we haven’t seen a shred of progress made on Iris Quest. To make matters worse, the two developers have two different Patreon accounts, both of which are funded by fans of this game and the original demo. And the salt on the wound is that they’re actually super active on their Patreon accounts with outreach posts and art that they’ve drawn for their games. And yet, Iris Quest appears to be dead, even though no-one has bothered to break out a wreath and call it a day.

In the meantime, they actually managed to come out with another game, also called Iris Quest, but with an appended “The Goblin’s Quest”. Apparently, this is a completely different game that is just barely related to the original Iris Quest, so it’s likely to bury that game even further for who knows how long.

Personally, I’m completely discouraged about Iris Quest, and that’s really sad because I was looking forward to playing it, genuinely. I mean, I know it’s a game in which you essentially undid all the hard work from the Akabur titles where you broke these girls. But, there’s nothing wrong with that. I have no problem with rescuing women in video games. Plus, if I get to play as a woman, that’s some girl power thrown into the mix for the hell of it. I like everything about this premise. Still, I’ll remain blue balled, it seems, and you guys are in the same boat. This game will probably never see the light of day. Personally, I’m praying that I’m wrong, because these guys, confusing laziness aside, are really talented at what they do, and they have an original concept on their hands.

I would love to be proven wrong on my predictions for Iris Quest, because this game has the potential to be the next big thing in the Akabur universe. Plus, if I’m not mistaken, there was an ad for this game within Star Channel 34, which means Akabur himself gave his seal of approval one way or another, at some point in the past.

I’d hate to see all of this effort go wasted. All smut is created equal and deserves the same respect. I intentionally avoided mentioning the developers by name, because I didn’t want them or you guys to feel like I’m personally attacking them. Nothing could be further from the truth. I like what they’ve made, quite a lot. I just wish they could finish it eventually so the world could enjoy their complete artwork.