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Before we begin, let me give you a warning. HealSlut is a game that contains nudity, sexual exploitations, extreme violence, and… a pizza with pineapple. Wait, what the fuck am I saying? You already know that I’m reviewing a porn game; otherwise, you wouldn’t even be here. Anyway, we’re going to talk about a porn game that may or may not get your dick up and running again. However, there’s more to it than just being a typical “porn game.”
Have you ever noticed that whenever you play a game of any genre, the role of a healer is always portrayed by some lusty, big-ass, and busty female character? Of course, there are games that have healers portrayed by some really old faggot, but that’s not the point here. Healslut is something different; it’s like an unholy mix of a fantasy role-playing game and pornography. If that got you intrigued, then I suggest that you keep on reading as I’m going to review the hell out of this game. So without any delays, let’s get on with this review.
What The Fuck Is HealSlut?
In HealSlut, the character that you’re going to portray is a geeky beta tester for the extensively popular MMO game called Powerful Order Online. Wait, that spells out as POO? Holy fuck, I really hope that the gameplay isn’t actually shit. Anyway, after failing to look for a decent guild to spend the rest of your gaming days with, you start to wonder about your character’s future, and most importantly, your future.
However, not all hopes are lost as the “developer” of POO suddenly invited you to test out their new expansion, which is named “MEGAREAL.” I swear to god, they’re doing a pretty fucked up job at the naming thing. Anyhow, since the new expansion is still a work in progress, you better expect to encounter a few bugs from time to time, especially some serious glitches.
As you take the opportunity to become a beta tester for their new game expansion, you find yourself somehow locked in a very odd class, a healer, in which she’s quite slutty, like she’s eager to get fucked in all of her holes. Anyway, since you’re stuck in playing the bitch-ass of class, I wonder how you would handle the power, and especially… the consequences.
The Game’s Content
By the time you’re reading this, HealSlut has already released version 0.4, in which it’s the version I’m currently playing. Anyway, if you’re the type of asshole who only came here to know what the game actually is to have a decision of whether playing it or not, then you absolutely came to the right fucking place. Moving on. The majority of the game’s character and story are more focused on being a role-playing game rather than a fucking porn game.
However, as of now, the game is still incomplete as the main plot is mysteriously underdeveloped. Moreover, the majority of the story is actually well written, appealing, and sometimes a bit quirky. Furthermore, as I can’t fucking stress this enough, for some odd fucking reason, the developers of HealSlut decided that they should focus on making the game more RPG focused, rather than acknowledging the fact that its fucking porn game.
My Impressions Of HealSlut
As I’ve wasted more hours of my life playing a god-forsaken porn game, I’m actually still glad that I’m given the opportunity to review the full extent of this game. Wait; what? Why am I being sentimental? Get your fucking shit together. *slaps his own face.* Alrighty then, where the fuck was I? Oh, right. My first fucking impressions.
The game is, well… good, despite developing abs in my fucking finger by fucking clicking the shit out my mouse just to progress through the game. Seriously, there aren’t that many things to do in the game, well, I mean physically, the only body muscle that you’re going to use is your finger and your other arm, if ever you get aroused by some goblin fucking your slut of a healer. Moreover, despite initially seeing the game as trash, I still find myself progressing through the game.
But wait, I suddenly realized, I’ve just wasted countless hours into this game, I wanted to sleep and continue playing it tomorrow. Then I figured out that HealSlut has a save feature. I have never been so grateful; it’s not every day that you encounter an extensive porn game and have a save feature.
To somehow sum it all up, the game is actually quite simple, but the intriguing story is what takes the cake for me. In addition, the game also has some well-written dialogue. It’s rare to see some developers actually paying some fucking attention in this element. Moreover, the overall graphics and animations of the game are actually aesthetically pleasing, and it’s all thanks to its distinct and intriguing characters. Overall, even I would consider it as one of the best games I’ve ever played…so far.
What I Like About The Game
Let’s talk about the things that I love about the game because there’s actually quite a few. However, let’s start with this, the game’s animations are just a collection of still images that changes from time to time depending on what they’re trying to emphasize, and despite that, I still actually find it to be quite amusing. Why do I find it amusing? Well, it’s because of the beautiful artwork of the characters, of course. I stopped caring about the animations of the characters when I saw how beautifully well-made they were; it’s like they didn’t care for the rest of the game as long as they do this right.
Moreover, as you start the game, you’re then redirected to choosing a path for you to take, whether it’s a boy or a girl. The storyline goes in different ways depending on the character you chose, not to mention that the whole gameplay relies on the player’s decisions all throughout the game. Because of that particular reason, I find the storyline to be quite intriguing. To add to that, each character of the game has unique characteristics and personalities, which makes each of them well-defined.
My Recommendations To Improve The Game
Why do I have a strange feeling that this game was made in a fucking hurry? If you’re wondering why then let me explain it to your broke-ass brain. There’s nothing else to do in the game except for extensively clicking the buttons of the mouse and witnessing the storyline as you progress through it. I know, I know, the game is interesting and all, but we’re already in the age of advanced technology where kids can even make a fucking game of their own. All I want is a little more effort from the developers, I mean, after all, they did put the game up in the Patreon page where they receive contributions to improve their work.
Aside from that, the other thing that I want to improve in the game is the animations of some, or even all of the characters, especially the main one. Believe it or not, I actually wasted numerous hours playing this game, and all that I’ve noticed is that the characters don’t fucking move, not even the fucking sex scenes. Come on, man. HealSlut is a porn-focused game, but the developers didn’t even focus on making the sex scenes a little more interesting. Not to mention that this game barely has any fucking scenes in it.
HealSlut is some real quality shit! Especially with the characters, the dialogue, and the choices that they give to the players. I can’t help but admit that the game is actually well-made, despite all of my rants, despite being more of a story than a game, and despite letting me down as it didn’t reach my expectations. The game is quite complex when it comes to the story, as the player can choose different paths to take. In conclusion, I would give major praises to the developers of HealSlut as there are numerous elements in the game that actually ticks all the right boxes.
I can’t actually remember the last time a game in this caliber and genre surprised me. The linear formatting of the game’s storyline has actually given me hope the HealSlut would eventually have a convincing and satisfying ending. I’m quite certain that the developer of the game knows what he’s doing based on what I experienced from the game. As far as I’m concerned, I would give two thumbs up for the game’s overall quality.
- Characters are well-defined
- Each of the characters has specific personalities
- The story is quite intriguing
- Gameplay based on the player's decisions
- Beautiful artwork
- Some models don't move