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What’s up, you crazy sons of bitches! How’s it going? I bet you’re still drooling over some pornographic magazines under your father’s bed or some shit like that. Haha. Anyway, I was pointed out to a game on a popular gaming platform called Steam. I wondered what would happen if I go right ahead and try this godforsaken game, so I figured, why not? I’m already expecting it to be one of those trendy dating simulators roaming around the internet lately.
As it turns out, Amorous is one of the trendy cheesy dating simulators that I keep hearing about. I played the game, and I was surprised to actually waste not two hours, but a whole fucking day. Yes, you little shit, I wasted a whole fucking day playing a fucking game made by fucking pornographic nerds that were meant to be played by the rest of the pornographic nerds! So, without further ado, let’s get on to the review of Amorous.
Don’t Know What The Fuck Amorous Is? I’ll Tell You
To be more specific, Amorous is a fuzzy and hairy game that is based around dating simulator gameplay, in which it aims to provide a top of the line novel experience, not to mention that it’s free. You get the chance to shake up the formula with animated NPCs and real choices in a sandbox environment, in which there are interactive minigames to keep the players engaged. The characters range from felines to foxes, male to female, and everything else in between.
Explore the bedazzling neon lights of Amorous, a bustling night club that attracts various species of furry women-like creatures with personalities and sexualities. Play the game to have an immersive experience all throughout as you create a character to find all of the nine datable characters, and chances are you might end up under their pants tonight. *wink*
Let me start by saying this; you only get to play the role of a biological male in the game, as the game’s overall dialogue is meant for the male players and audiences. As you start the game, you’re immediately transferred to Amorous, if you’re not reading properly, I already described what the fuck Amorous is in the beginning. Anyway, you’re transferred immediately to the club, and your goal is to get other character’s numbers.
You would basically go around the club and mingle with the other characters until you say the right thing that would result in getting their numbers. You can get all of their numbers in one go; however, the annoying part is that if you have beaten a route, the game immediately shoves back in Amorous. However, there’s no tutorial in the game, so it took me quite a while to figure everything out.
The character creation is probably one of the main highlights of the game as the functions and availability are quite vast despite considering it as a basic game. The character creation has functions such as the species of your character, the fur color, and other basic attributes such as the nose, hair, ears, and some other shit that I’m too lazy to fucking mention. Oh, and did I mention that the character you’ve created will always be shown on the title screen? It is.
Why Should You Play The Game?
It’s actually quite clear that the developers put a lot of love and effort into the game; however, there are still some bugs in the game, but nobody is perfect, after all. Each of the characters has a unique storyline that you get to explore, not to mention that the sprites look absolutely good. Believe it or not, I actually recommend the game to all of the pornographic enthusiasts out there, as long as you wouldn’t mind the censored parts that are both exotic and erotic.
What I Hate About This Game
What I hate about the game? Well, there’s too many to fucking mention! One which is the NPCs in the game, the animation is literally…non-existent. Main characters can breathe and all, but it’s offsetting when a random NPC pops up during your gameplay, and they are just…there. Like, no breathing or animation whatsoever, it’s like a fucking cutout from cardboard! I’d rather see some other basic and shitty animations that this fucking thing!
As you progress through the game, you will begin to notice that one of the characters, Seth, is the worst character ever written! The ironic part is that Seth portrays as a “writer,” and all of his dialogue is full of fucking typos. I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Did the writers of the game fell asleep during the creation of Seth and realized it’s already too long and decided to just go with it? Did you actually fucking think we wouldn’t notice?!
There are far more things needed to be done before I could actually consider this as a “game.” It takes little to no effort or skill for you to go through the game, simply because your choices don’t actually matter in the gameplay. Even though you would fuck up on purpose, chances are that you would end up under the pants of the character your dating anyway, they’ll be fucking you at one frame, and then goes back to normal at the next.
What I Would Recommend To Improve The Game
Oh my fucking God, there are so many things to mention when it comes to improving the game because I currently find it to be utter bullshit. Let’s start on the fucking characters; I would suggest to actually fucking find an experienced writer if you ever want to get past the overused stereotypes. Currently, in the game, it feels like Jax and Skye barely had any effort put into them, considering that they are both the game’s “mascot.”
Next would be the NPCs, let me ask this question to the fucking developers, did you guys just cut out a random image on the internet and put it in your game? What I’m saying is that the NPCs are quite lifeless in every player’s perspective. As of now, I would recommend just to give them “life,” don’t put yourselves into a hassle by creating different expressions as I would assume that it was already quite difficult to even animate the NPCs in the first place.
And then there’s the selection of the game’s soundtrack, have you ever experienced seeing a beautiful, erotic, sexy, and nude character, and suddenly got turned off by the background music that you hear. Like, fucking seriously, make improvements to not only the sound quality but the overall selection of the soundtrack as its a huge benefactor to the game’s immersive experience. I can’t stress it enough that you guys need to fucking polish the game’s sound!
And lastly, I would recommend to the developers that they should be flexible with the game’s design. I could understand Coby and some other characters being easy to get under the pants, but the whole three dates are fucking unrealistic, which only promotes unhealthy habits. I could actually think of many dating sims that you could use as an example to improve Amorous’s overall quality.
Amorous has caught my attention right from the start because of the colorful graphics that the game exhibits, not to mention that the characters you date would also have colorful personalities. However, for a game that was under development for quite a while now, it’s quite small. I can’t wait for what the developers have planned for the game in the near future. I mean, who am I to judge if they’re committed to improving their work?
I can honestly say that I have never been a big fan of “dating simulators,” however, the erotic game called Amorous definitely has potential, but the game still requires a lot of work put into it. Moreover, we would be expecting a lot more from the developers of the game as Amorous is posted in the Patreon site for it to be funded by volunteers. In more simple terms, more financial support would result in the developers improve the game even more.
- The artwork is quite good
- A few characters are well written
- Some stories are actually nice to experience
- Skye is a fucking sweetheart
- The content is quite longer than the average dating simulator
- Repetitive music
- Minigames are fucking out of place and quite stupid
- Why the fuck can't I save the image of the characters
- The game's too fucking short!
- So many characters are a cliche or unoriginal
- Painfully bad romance scene
- I was fucking expecting more boobs
- Oh, did I already mention that the music is complete bullshit?